Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
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Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
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Saturday, September 18, 2004 Got some stuff ... an intellectual discourse across the table of the food court at Plaza Singapura to no one in particular. So I struggled out of bed for my once-in-a-while jaunt down to, Orchard Road, as usual torturing myself by enduring the whole jaunt from Plaza Singapura to Ngee Ann City (and back again, if I'm hungry). Snatched the October copy of Dragon magazine out of the greedy grasp of that other unknown fellow who's been competing with me for it, and in the process decided to cave in to the great Singaporean temptation and apply for the Kinokuniya membership card. Because, if I'm still intent on heading to Cambridge (which I am, mind you ... otherwise what am I doing in Singapore?), I'm going to have to keep up with my studies, and that means having to actually buy some books to keep for my own reading pleasure. Because, as much as I might appeal (what, nil?) to Rolly, there's no way in heck I'm ever going to be let into RJC's library again. And Mr. Liew isn't there to protect me and provide me with all those rather unusual pieces of information which so characterised his lectures (and, I gleefully admit, distinguished the true workers from the slackers). And the whole place is shifting to Bishan and I don't want to go there and find myself lost and end up in, oh, say, the library of Raffles Institution? Basically, I'm going to have to study really hard to keep that old noggin working, and it will have to be all by myself this time. Maybe I'd like to take the opportunity to publicise an interesting new magazine that's just started this year, for anime amateurs like me, and ... um, me ... what do you expect from someone who only picks up anime which has gone out of production? Called Rogue, it's published bi-monthly and the second issue has just appeared on the shelves. If you've ever taken a peek into a copy of Dragon magazine, you'd notice that it would be a little similar ... and if you've ever taken a peek into (ugh) MAGE magazine, you'd see that it was totally different. You see, there are two types of 'manga and anime' magazines, the kind which claims to know it all and tells you so in no uncertain terms, and the kind which doesn't press a point into your face but instead presents you with facts, exposition and, of course, the manga, and lets you decide for yourself. If you're one of those hardhats who finds reading The Economist one of the most stimulating and challenging things around, you'd probably enjoy the former but for people like me who like to actually think things up for ourselves rather than argue against someone else's point, The Straits Times, and the latter type of magazine, is available. It's also a kind-of plus that Rogue isn't so high-class as some of the other magazines (like some aforementioned know-it-all types) so I don't feel like an absolute moron finding that I'm out of touch with 90% of the magazine's contents. What really irritates me about some of the former type of magazine, and especially MAGE in particular, is that they always claim to be perfectly correct, right, accurate and spot on about anything they publish, which is quite an ambitious claim for a magazine based in a little island which is smaller than Okinawa and is far from being the major consumer of anime outside of Japan. But Rogue is different ... at least it doesn't make a pretence of the fact that it doesn't know much. It's mainly expository, with articles about new or interesting anime highlights, as well as some discussion on games, movies or mobile construction, but most importantly and interestingly they also publish work by some upcoming and still very much unknown artists, which are for the present from Japan. What I've always liked to read are a collection of essays (I avoid the use of the term 'short stories', it sounds so uncommited) about topics of my interest, in this case fantasy fiction, and hopefully with continuous characters and plot lines, and now Singapore has come up with one, in English, and with illustrations (in a way...). What I'm hoping for is that one day a Singaporean will finally have the skill (or the gall) to stand on their feet and publish a series of home-made manga to face the scrutiny of those know-it-alls among us ... and otherwise enthrall the rest of us more appreciative people. Singapore Idol is just a start. But I want to tell those know-it-alls out there in Singapore that, even from an anime imbecile like me, that you don't know enough, and you're not worthy to judge, yet. In other words, write in Japanese, and maybe I'll respect you ... if I can understand it, that is ... n_n;; ... (that was meant to be self-deprecating). Of course, if you're Singaporean, and you're the kind who looks down on magazines like MAGE (I don't look down on it, I just don't like their style) as being for too amateur and childish for your tastes, then let me say that I don't want anything to do with you. Let me dwell in my pit of ignorance like the famous frog in the well, and eventually I will have to either hop it or croak. Similarly, while I don't claim to know much about anime, I seem to bear that same know-it-all attitude (which, in this case, I claim to despise) about many other topics in life. In which case, let me remind you that this is an internet weblog, where I am free to air my own opinions, and I can provide you with several good reasons why I still persist in this unpleasant practice. Because this is my site, and if you don't like it you don't have to read it. Because I'm always kind enough to assert that I'm not always right, and that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Because I'm weak of heart and spirit, and all it takes is a sharp, cutting, and sufficiently witty (or overbearing) remarks from someone else to break me to my knees. Because you didn't pay any amount of cold hard cash to read the confused babblings of a delusional, delirious young lass. And now, about that philosophy which I was supposed to be discussing? posted by Charlotte | 4:06 pm (0) comments Sunday, September 12, 2004 I can't keep it any more. I've got to throw in the towel. It's something very important that I've got to confess. And that is basically because ... oh, damn it, because it is blatantly obvious already. My parents got a new computer. Happy? Which explains how I can suddenly turn on Neverwinter Nights again, and my sister has somehow started playing Gunbound, which is, rather unusual, especially considering that the 'newest' computer in this home is the one that I'm currently using, and it's two years old. But there is more. It has been a year since the warranty vanished into thin air, and since then I've had to endure 3 major breakdowns, including the one last year where there was that major data wipe which deleted, destroyed, obliterated, annihilated and utterly ... *expletive* ... up MY STORY! And, if you've spent ½ of a year typing a chapter+ thanks to heavy work commitments (remember, I went home 'early' before 6pm only one day in the week, and it wasn't Saturday ...), and while then shirking off projects from other people, you'll know how much effort went into it. And now it's gone! Well ... it's been a year ago ... it was gone a year ago! Damn it! And now I'm sitting pretty with my 4 As and 1D1S, GP A1, and I'm still griping over that accursed twist of fate which totally altered my writing life since then. Not that I'd rather not have 4A 1D1S GP A1, but it's a feeling that won't go away, like a depression that's left after someone or something has died. The only two family funerals I've attended ever being two fairly distant grandparents, I think I can accurately distinguish the someone from the something, or rather the someone else from the someone very close. Whenever my computer dies, it takes a part of me with it, because it's my life which I have been putting into it. It's not that it's my fault for not backing up, despite having a CD-RW drive. I thank most profusely my secondary hard drive, the master drive of the computer before this one before being ignominously reduced to a 'slave', for storing the vast majority of my data and letting only one chapter, as opposed to years of work, slipping down into the pits of nothingness. After the last year's experiences, including the recent crash, I'm trusting everything to it. It has worked so far ... though for how long I cannot tell. It scares me. Scares me very much. The present electronic age, where the computer is the master and the human is the slave. The human might switch on and control the computer, but in its infinite omnipotence it is the computer which truly controls the human, whether it might be switched on or not. And I have a CD-RW backup. The point being, I don't know how much longer this computer can last. It works fine for everything except Neverwinter Nights and, er, Gunbound. But the warranty is gone, technical support and updates for it are no longer featured on Acer's (yes, HP can go straight to Dell, I mean, Hell.) website, and from its recent performance it doesn't take a technician to tell that it's on its last legs. One day, it will just lose it ... whether it might be the motherboard, the hard drive, the ram, etc ... in fact, the only 'original' pieces within my CPU's shell are the CD-RW and 1.44 drives. The point being, if anything goes wrong, it won't be worth the cost to replace it. And what computer am I ... er ... I, and ... my little sister ... going to use in the meantime? Sure, it might seem to the casual observer that all I'm doing with a computer is playing games and playing more games, which is ... true, to a certain extent, since whenever I'm conscious in the day I'll load up something interesting to bring a smile (or a knitted brow) to the face. But there's more to it. There's this. There's my stories, some which I closed off long ago, some which I, well, neglected, and my big novel which I have barely touched for an entire year now. Novellist indeed. All that ... can you imagine the horror, the terror, the anguish which I go through as I endure every threat to my computer as if it was I myself in a state of malfunction? Depression, emotional outbursts, odd times, migraines, and suicidial tendencies ... well, more tending than usual? Isn't it clear that my state of emotional well-being is tied to the health of my computer? Or is this some kind of dumb excuse cooked up to get what I want, and now, as some kind of adolescent tantrum? Don't judge ... heavens above, for the love of our Lady on high, don't even think to judge for me. Which is why after two years and a third breakdown (computer ... the tally for emotional stands much higher), I have finally persuaded my parents to get a new computer. It's fairly affordable, for a dual-income family, as most top-of-the-range (for home PCs) models are less than $2000. And my first act on installing it in my little sister's room was to copy and transfer all of my precious .doc files to it. And after that I went to play Neverwinter Nights. Which explains my late, um, Nights. Well, if you haven't played something you like for about a year, during which another expansion set came out, you'd be raring to try, wouldn't you? I'm not asking for sympathy or forgiveness or anything. Just trying to express my feelings. Because after every skipped and deleted post it pains my when I realise how much I've been neglecting my real commitment which is to writing, whether for myself or for others. And I remember that incident, last year, a painful, horrifying, petrifying series of events. Oh, and I finished The Three Musketeers! And now, on to Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes! Sounds heavy? Maybe one should actually try reading it rather than merely staring at the size of the book. posted by Charlotte | 4:48 pm (0) comments Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
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