Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
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Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
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Saturday, June 12, 2004 I give you a prelude. "Then flah'd the living Lightnings from her Eyes, And Screams of Horror rend th' affrighted Skies. Not louder Shrieks to pitying Heav'n are cast, When Husbands, or when Lapdogs breath their last, Or when rich China Vessels, fal'n from high, In glitt'ring Dust and painted Fragments lie! Let Wreaths of Triumph now my Temples twine, (The Victor cry'd) the glorious Prize is mine! While Fish in Streams, or Birds delight in Air, Or in a Coach and Six the British Fair, As long as Atalantis shall be read, Or the small Pillow grace a Lady's Bed, While Visits shall be paid on solemn Days, When num'rous Wax-lights in bright Order blaze, While Nymphs take Treats, or Assignations give, So long my Honour, Name, and Praise shall live! What Time would spare, from Steel receives its date, And Monuments, like Men, submit to Fate! Steel cou'd the Labour of the Gods destroy, And strike to Dust th' Imperial Tow'rs of Troy; Steel cou'd the Works of mortal Pride confound, And hew Triumphal Arches to the Ground. What Wonder then, fair Nymph! thy Hair shou'd feel The conqu'ring Force of unresisted Steel?" - Canto III, The Rape of the Lock by Alexander Pope The prelude is a conclusion, because there is nothing more to be said. This is the end. Nothing can begin now. posted by Charlotte | 4:30 pm (0) comments Friday, June 11, 2004 I didn't think that they would sell poison in the refrigerated segment of the supermarket, but apparently they do. Well, all right, it's not really poison, but for all ends and purposes it might as well be. It causes that same horrible jolt to the brain that leaves one addled and mentally impaired, and, when taken in large quantities (such as, um, about a mouthful) causes such a terrible shock that one's head seems heavy beyond supporting, the intense pressure and agony it induces forcing one to immediately seek any kind of repose from a tormentuous headache which plagues more devilishly than a horde of flies. Regardless of resistance the sufferer will fall into a swooning stupor from which they are not to wake for the next half a day. Upon which, with all luck, all symptoms would have cleared and the victim is free to repeat the process again, should they so choose. I call it a 'hangover without the alcohol', not that I really know what a hangover is like since I've never got seriously drunk (jokingly, yes, seriously, no), but I believe that it's very much similar. I would further claim that it is without the liver disease, but being unable to examine my own liver for cirhossisit it is impossible for me to make such a conclusion. Nevertheless, I exhort you to try it ... it does wonders for your physical well-being and it is excellent for curing conditions such as a mental block, or hypochondria, so that now you really know what it is like to feel numb-headed and stupid. Available at your local supermarket's refrigeration section. posted by Charlotte | 4:48 pm (0) comments Thursday, June 10, 2004 I went out and snagged the copy of Dragon Magazine from Kinokuniya. Well, whoever it is who's competing with me, this shall be the last time I swipe it from under your nose as I pass a most sincere promise that I shall not steal it away again for a long, long time. Though I never said that no one else would be there to snaffle it on my behalf, nor did I specify how 'long' the long time was. But it will be long. I had to bump the story again for the third time. I would announce yet again what a terrible embarrassment that would be, except that I realise that placing added stress on myself does nothing for my productivity. With my battered frame constantly racked by illness, I seem to feel deflated each time I write, when I sit before the computer, despite the numerous journeys outward I have embarked on in an attempt to gather some experience and inspiration, and basically allow myself time for convalescence. And coffee does help to reverse the effect, only that, with my heightened senses, the surfeit of attentiveness renders me unable to sit still or focus my thoughts for long. It hangs over me and I hang with it. posted by Charlotte | 4:40 pm (0) comments Tuesday, June 08, 2004 Venus' transit across the Sun was observed by millions across the globe today. Unfortunately, yours truly had not the slightest glimpse of it largely owing to the fact that, not possessing the proper instruments necessary for viewing such an astral phenomenon (and the knowledge of how to build a pinhole camera availing her nought) and desirious to preserve the well-being of her eyesight in spite of her rather frail attchment to life itself, and repeated curses imploring the heavens above to strike her sightless (e.g., "Cor blimey!"). Nevertheless, Charlotte shrugs off the rather unfortunate circumstance of having to miss an astronomical event 'not witnessed by anyone alive' (claim the newspapers and scientific journals, and which I do not doubt in the slightest) with the consolence that millions more (heck, billions) similarly missed such an opportunity of a lifetime, that the second transit will happen in 2012 (since transits of Venus across the Sun occur in pairs), and that the event itself is of limited astronomical significance (claim the slightly more enlightened newspapers and journals) apart from allowing the layman to view solar phenomena of a longer duration than the ephemeral event which is a solar eclipse by the moon, which happens on a far more, though still greatly limited basis. What I find particularly interesting is that people in the past actually had the knowledge or intuition to derive not simply a use for an event whose effect is insignificant ("Help! A tiny wotsit is eating up the Sun, and failing miserably!"), but to actually notice said event, and to even predict dates for its occurence. The pair of transits in the 1600s were the first to be so observed, and, somehow predicting the date of its next occurence in the 1700s, governments actually had the perceptiveness to send out scientific expeditions to measure the transit from different points around the known world in an effort to calculate the distance from the Earth to the Sun, by good old Cartesian trigonometry. It is rather amusing to consider that perhaps, if it was not for humanity discovering Venus' transit across the Sun and gathering interest in it, Captain Cook would never have been sent on his scientific expedition and Australia and New Zealand would never have been found, or at least not early enough to make them what they are today, magnificent counterbalances of white power across the globe and in the opposite hemisphere and time zone. Or I guess they would have been founded eventually, possibly late enough such that scientific awareness in protecting national diversity would have grown enough to protect now extinct animals such as the Great Auk and the Tasmanian Devil (and similarly keep unwanted critters such as rabbits and cane toads out)? As the Aussie would say, it's all fair dinkum, though I haven't the slightest notion what that means. Hm. Just a little thought about something which I never even saw in the first place, though I tried viewing a live broadcast from NASA's website, but unfortunately, it was so clogged with traffic that it refused to load. And besides, the Sun is so bright, not to mention so hot, that I'm burning with jealousy (being dim and, um, not hot) and I can't see eye to eye with it. Because I end every casual piece of writing with some lame comment which spoils any climatic effect which may have been generated in a bid to lower the reader's expectations. posted by Charlotte | 4:49 pm (0) comments Monday, June 07, 2004 It is amazing what you can do if you sat down and thought about things for a while, rather than hastily struggling with them in your desperation. Interestingly enough, this 'maxim' applies to all of physical, mental and virtual challenges ... all it takes is a knowledge of the probabilities facing you so that you know when to give up (and that should only be if your chances are 0%). Because all those sports advertisements are wrong, there are things which are impossible in life ... the mistake most people make is not knowing which those are. Interestingly enough, drugs are more likely than sports to make the impossible happen. Think about the irony in those advertisements. Interesting quote to share : "A man under 30 who is not a liberal has not a heart, a man above 30 who is not a conservative has not a brain." - Winston Churchill. In the model of L. Frank Baum's The Wizard of Oz, it rings true. The point of this temporary divergence into matters of politics (apart from it being a convenient excuse to once again declare in no uncertain terms my distaste for socialism in all its forms) is to reflect the political tenets of a very famous and well-known man who has recently passed away, Ronald Wilson Reagan, former president of the United States. Oh, sure, it might be rather absurd for me to state my support for a president of an overly libertarian country such as the United States, especially given my tendency in History lessons to root for the Soviet Union (although more for their totalitarian ways, rather than for their idealistic and ultimately ridiculous economic system). But several years of disastrous presidents, and a Democrat running for two terms between them, has helped us realise, on hindsight, that Reagan was a very intelligent and far-sighted man. Although that took a lot of hindsight, and it would help in appreciating this man for his influence in world politics if one was not actually a citizen of the United States (or, the Soviet Union, for that matter). I'm not going to recount a series of arguments debating the greatness of this man, who arguably provided the best leadership of the Cold War United States (though not, as the 'Reagan Victory' school claims, actually 'won' it per se, but I shall desist from repeating my essay here). The essential point of him which I like is that he was a defender of conservatism and a limited government, while pursuing a free market policy, similar to the way China and Singapore are doing it right now (however, to different degrees of 'consevatism' and 'free markets'). Another proponent of this means of government was Margaret Thatcher whom, unfortunately, has never earned the same popularity as Reagan across the world. I credit this to the male ego, which is unable to acknowledge superiority in any merit other than appearance in the opposite gender. That he is not exactly the most popular leader domestically is, of course, something which nags at me, but is not going to prevent me from expressing my admiration. I doubt any resident of any country (well, except Pakistan and India, maybe) would be utterly delighted at one's leader spending a large proportion of the budget and running huge deficits to create weapons of mass destruction, which are likely not to be (and, thankfully, have not been) used, to intimidate the national nemesis, not to mention the incredible amount of taxpayers' dollars spent on research on some orbital defence system which never looked like it would get off the ground. Of course, no leader is beyond blame for the numerous blunders they have made in their time in office ... it is merely that some leaders *ahem* have made more blunders than others. If only someone other than George W. Bush was running as the Republican candidate, I wouldn't give a second thought about John Kerry. And I'd definitely stop short long before lauding him with all praise as rabid American nationalists have done, because I don't give a damn about the American national sentiment. But I do care how the leader runs the country, and how their actions have an effect on the rest of the world. I would join America, for once, in expressing my grief for the passing of a great and intelligent man, the oldest man ever to hold office as American president. And I apologise for not being able to find a proper quote by Ronald Reagan (there's the one about the doctors, but that's in every newspaper), Churchill's comment being one I came across by chance. And it voices my sentiment about politics, as emphasised by this elaboration. posted by Charlotte | 4:59 pm (0) comments Sunday, June 06, 2004 For the first time ever, I have decided to delete 'posts', never to replace them again, for, if you are a follower of my scribblings here, you would be most acutely aware of my habit of filling in 'daily' posts with senseless vowels, such as 'a', and most hopefully replacing them with something more intelligible some time later. But as of this recent week, it seems that there is no thing more intelligible to say, and there shall be no time later when such epiphanies of considered thought shall spring to mind. It is unfortunate. As of this past week, I have been consumed by a most nerve-wracking ague which has rendered me largely insensible for my waking hours, and, if my family is to be believed, inconceivable in those where I am asleep. I recall it began on the day when it stormed ... my favourite weather. I was considering how I seemed to have an affinity for the storm, where the raging elements reflected the ever swirling controversy cycling within my thoughts, and similarly mirrored my stormy disposition outside of any deliberate attempts to mask it. Losing myself in the merciless magnitude of the maelstrom, I was seized by an aneurysm ... figuratively, of course, not literally (else I would be fortunate enough not to be here, to recount the tale) that seemed to crush rationalisation in my head, the impact of which sent me reeling to the floor in agony. When I did recover from the shock of this seizure, I became aware of various afflictions, each of which being part of different mortal maladies known to humanity, which seemed to be having me in their grasp all at once. As a vessel in my forehead (now very much visible, thanks to nearly a week of duress) throbbed painfully, the sense of direction one often takes for granted seemed to be lost as I gazed about, disoriented. Inclining my head instantly brought a shock, similar to the one I experienced earlier, to my senses, absorbing me in an unspeakable degree of nausea. Even my physical self suffered from my mental exertions, for as I struggled to find my feet I stumbled and fell due to a resurgence of a weakness about the ankles, repeatedly bringing me to my knees. Aware (unusually so, given my state of mind then) that a multiplicity of different ailments occuring at once may be a symptom of poisoning of some sort, I staggered to the bathroom, hoping to relieve myself in some way through emittance or expulsion but even given the intensity of the compulsions which pushed me to such extreme measures I was unable to accomplish either. Dreading food or drink I edged back to my bed, whereupon with a sip of water (which slid down the gullet in a most deliberate fashion) I thrust myself on it forthwith. But reclination was no respite either, for it was impossible to find reprieve from this most horrid malady. Writhing on my bed, in my day clothing (for, unlike the people of the West, we see a need to take to bed in a most appropriate set of clothing), the pillow provided no relief to the torments afflicting my wracked head, whether one was to put one's head over, under, or totally aside from it whatsoever. To lie vacant and struggle to find sensibility was only to intensify the agony, while to sleep and to seek refuge in dreams (as I was eventually able to, after a period of much struggling) would only mean to awake drenched with sweat, and stricken with the pain of discomfiture that comes out of losing consciousness in an inappropriate manner. Eventually, after much convalescence and attempts to soothe myself I was finally able to find my footing and my sensibility to make my way to the computer. But I was so cursed that I found great difficulty in even summoning the words to my mind, save moments of epiphany (such as after watching Harry Potter, for instance), even days after that terrible seizure. And this should be more than sufficient to explain the number of blank posts which merit little other consideration than immediate deletion by a more discerning and sensible author, and the incredible misery and wretchedness expressed in the words otherwise. Huh. But I exaggerate (of course I exaggerate, it being second nature ... the claim being an exaggeration in itself), for certain my immediate suffering was not as utterly hideous as I now describe it. But the scars, both mental, and physical (from falling and bumping into things) are a testament to it, as is the outline of a blood vessel in my forehead which strained itself for the preservation of a worthless life these past days. And even now I am not free of the ague, nor do I think I ever will be. At times I fall into a trance, unable to lift my head or my eyes, and finding immense difficulty in speaking. The doctor claims that my afflictions are all self-inflicted, in the sense that I have willed misery to befall myself. While there is a degree of truth to that, my concurrence does stretch to a limit, for if the above was true, why, I would will myself to die, without prolonging my own suffering. But the bestiality in me, the carriage which lends itself to the use of my tormented mind, can and does break free of its mistress for the purposes of 'self-preservation', as while the body cannot live without a mind, for as long as the mind is alive it is impossible for the body to cause itself to die. Agony, Charlotte. The paradox is that you compel yourself to think, to produce, the failure of which causes you to suffer, which further impedes your ability to force your worthless body to your own service. Or are you merely admitting defeat, professing the weakness of your mind, and the inability to dictate the shell that carries it to its every whim? You are fallible, and while you have never hesitated to admit it you have also never hesitated to fight that truth. And it will devour you. Post-Script, First : I would like to imagine that there is another mind inhabiting my body, one which is battling me for dominance, for it would provide a most worthy opponent against which I could pit all my will and resolve. However, the argument breaks down when I realise that it was out of my own capacity of thought that this notion of possessing another will arises, consequently negating the possible existence of such a phenomenon. And, not to mention, it would be conceivable that this second will would possess all the weaknesses of the first, meaning that it would not be a battle of strengths against weaknesses, but one of mere mimicry and posturing. Post-Script, Second : Not a single apostrophe was used in this piece of writing. Now, isn't that amazing? posted by Charlotte | 4:46 pm (0) comments Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
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