Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
|
|
Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
|
|
Saturday, March 06, 2004 - War of Words, Part VIII.ii - 22. Your mission : "Wha ... aah! No! I don't want to die! Get me out of here, faithful Xkwyr!" - Pwyns Xjrmynq. Translated, get him (and myself, of course) out of trouble ... since the poor sod looks like he can't even find his way out of a speech bubble. "I tell you, he does have a point ... behind all that gabble he's speaking. If only you could listen to him yourself!" I remonstrated while I walked down the corridor, prisoner in the hands of two armed, armoured, nonsensical, yet no-nonsense guards, walking both forwards and backwards as I attempted to present the case to both guards at once. "The point is, lady, that we can't listen to him ourselves!" argued the spearman behind me as he kept a steady pace despite me nearly bumping into him more than once, "That is precisely why we need you to translate his words for us, if you want any leniency on our part." "Don't forget, however, that to us you're still a criminal," reminded the halberdier before me as he kept a watchful eye to ensure I did not make a false move or try to get away, "If you do not translate the villain's words exactly as he speaks them, rest assured you will be punished." "But that's impossible!" I exclaimed, much to the alarm of the guards as they suddenly paused and turned to glare right at me, "I mean ... I'm inevitably going to have to sort through his jumble of words to get through to the essence of what he's saying for you, and in doing so I won't have a choice but to use my own words part of the time, won't I? So I can't repeat exactly what he says ..." "But if you can claim to understand both our languages exactly as they are spoken," considered the spearman, who was more of the stolid, scholarly type, "You should be able to repeat him exactly as he says, if your 'all-tongue' is true." "Even if you speak in the plainest language possible, we cannot trust you entirely," remarked the halberdier, who was more of the suspicious, soldierly type, "Your best option, therefore, should be to repeat him word for words, to sound honest." "But ... but I'm a human, not a trained monkey or a machine!" I protested unhappily as the guards, having finished their reprimanding, hustled me along again, "I don't copy people in such an irritating fashion ... imagine what it would sound like to him, who can't understand you! I'm not a mime!" "I didn't catch some of the words you used," remarked the spearman, "But as far as we are concerned you are still a criminal and a traitor." My, that was encouraging. "As a traitor you're not worthy of humanity," cursed the halberdier, "As far as the law is concerned, however, you are an animal and a beast." Say, that was pleasant. "At least I'm tame ..." I hissed as serpentlike as I could as the pair urged me forward down the corridor. Twisting and winding like some ancient labyrinth, one would wonder how they managed to fit an entire maze into something that looked no more impressive than the average stone building, one not even mansionlike in the least. Passing doors mostly sealed and unlabled, I thought I had finally caught a glimpse of a shaft of light from outside rather than the grim candles and gas lamps of the interior, until the pair shunted me away from salvation and down another deep, dark set of passageways ... until we came to another wooden door, one that looked slightly more polished and ornate than the rest. "Where did you shut him up?" I demanded rather insistently, not thinking that a prisoner would be shut up in a room with such a well-crafted door. I was cooperative, and I got a jail cell with a metal door and bars. "Where are you taking me? What are you doing?" "Oh, it was merely a matter of necessity," the halberdier remarked curtly as he leaned against his weapon for support, while regarding me disdainfully with a flick of his hand, "But judging by who you claim he is you could say we took care to 'accommodate' him." "Ah, I claim responsibility for this tactic," the spearman added happily as he rested his weapon against the wall, while proceeding to unlock the door with a key from his pocket, "He was uncooperative beyond measure, and this was the only way to silence him." "Accommodate? Silence? Sounds ... insidious ..." I murmured as the guard worked on unlocking the door, pondering as to what gruesome and untimely fate befell the bewildered but ultimately good-intentioned (or should it be the other way around?) Pwyns Xjrmynq, only to have my jaw drop in horror as the guard opened the door ... to fill my eyes with crimson. The crimson of cheerful red paint. Lit by numerous slow wax lamps anchored to the wall, the room looked more of a lounge than a prison of any kind. With a three-piece suite of sofas and tables in its centre, a large wardrobe against the wall, and even a dresser for ... wait, this wasn't just an ordinary living room! For starters, there were no windows, which meant that this room was used for ... "Oh, do pardon me for my unpreparedness, you startled me some ..." exclaimed a rather surprised Pwyns Xjrmynq who emerged from behind a couch, folding the news paper he was glancing through on the centre table, an odd way of occupying the time especially since he was unlikely to be able to understand their written language, and also the fact that the paper was probably out of date as well. "Oh, if it should be but those brutish fiends, and ... my good Xkwyr Charlotte!" "I ... um ..." I stammered, knowing what to feel but not really what to say as a guard shoved me into the room from behind, "What, may I ask ... are you doing in a ladies' room?" "Oh, I am in one?" Daft, I say, daft! Weren't the inordinate number of toiletries, accessories, and even the soothing bottle of perfume strategically situated on the table in the middle of the room giveaways enough? "Hmm, that probably figures. These barbarians might be savage and brutal but at least they are kind enough to their ladyfolk ... and to me, I suppose, by virtue of my nobility and standing in the house of Consonance." "Right," I had just about enough of this royal drivel, but there were important causes at hand which needed to be defended, and if this senseless ranting was allowed to continue it would be certain that they would not be, "The point is, whether they put you in here because of it or not, the guards need proof that you're a noble, or they'll have us both killed!" "Oh, but isn't my innate refineness and inherent royal carriage proof enough of the illustrious blood I bear?" proclaimed the royal twit in an overly exaggerated manner which certainly verified his royalty ... that idiocy which tended to run in people able to get away with anything, and exposed him as little more than a skinny starveling hiding under the mantle of a name, "In fact, you are proof of my nobility, as you have been endowed with rank and standing on the mere basis of my charge. Don't you consider yourself blessed for one of your age?" "No," I hissed. First I was reduced to an animal, and now I am a material piece of proof? Besides, I looked and felt like the same old ordinary girl ... not that I had anything wrong with that ... and not just another extension of an overly conceited wad of royalty. "They want material proof ... solid proof! Something they can hold, something that proclaims you! You know they can't understand what you're saying, so give them something that can do the explaining for you!" "Why, you can, dear Charlotte!" smiled Pwyns Xjrmynq in a pleasant ... and deeply unnerving fashion, "You're solid, can be held, and, seeing as to how the people here understand you, you would most certainly be able of doing the favour of proclaiming me to the world as my loyal and most trustworthy Xkwyr! What an honourable person you already are!" "..." I groaned as I slapped myself on the side of my head, in an effort to jolt as much of my grey matter away from the slightest remarks made by Pwyns Xjrmynq ... and to thinking of an idea to save our skins, "I ... hate ... this ..." I was in the midst of my grumbling as a heavy gauntleted hand descended on my shoulder and squeezed it painfully like a piece of paper to be scrunched up. "Yeow!" I screamed as I tried to wring my way out of the iron grasp, but it was useless. The most I could do was to twist my head back, to see the two guards glaring at me, who, having had the patience to endure our futile conversation thus far, had decided that they had come to their limits. "Look, you damned kid," snarled the halberdier, who was the one crushing my shoulder to a fetid pulp, "We can tell that you're not discussing any strategies to escape, but you had better make sense before we start losing our temper!" "Don't waste our time," growled the spearman, who was the one who had abstained from such a threat, "And yours as well! Don't forget that you're still under the death penalty. If you don't talk, you will have to be put to the sword!" "Wait ... please ... just let me get this under control ..." I burbled as I twisted in that vicious vice, only to fall backward unceremoniously and nearly into the arms of a very startled and confused Pwyns Xjrmynq ... who wasn't helping one bit. Doesn't he see that I'm trying to get him out of trouble here? Do people tend to fall into imbecility when they're faced with death staring in their eyes? Not me, hopefully, for my mind was running ... sprinting, searching for that way out. Or, in the words of that guard, I would be put to the sword. Didn't he say poison earlier? Sword ... sword, that was it! "I've got it!" I cried with a nearly Archimidean eureka as I leapt back onto my feet, "You said you recognised the seal on the sword I was carrying earlier, right? Only someone royal would be allowed to have such a seal! Surely, this man here, who gave me the sword, must be something more than an ordinary person!" "Ah, certainly, Charlotte!" applauded the delighted man as he savoured my appraisal of him, "Naturally! Of course, nobility has the most powerful way of permeating every aspect of a person, does it not? It may be somewhat premature of me to say this, but I can declare that you will indeed make a most excellent noble yourself! You have the honoured word of Pwyns Xjrmynq, heir to the throne of Consonance, himself, and it is not given lightly!" Shut up, twat. That doesn't matter now, does it? "The girl has a point," considered the spearman, thumbing his chin in the depth of his thought, "That sword certainly bears that hateful mark of Consonance on it ... and it looks far too unwieldy to be of any real use in battle. Perhaps that could truly be a ceremonial weapon of the enemy?" "You may be right," replied the halberdier, as he loosened his posture in a gesture of approval, "I have never seen a more useless and nonsensical weapon of war in my life. But to ascertain that it is not a counterfeit smithed by brigands, we may have to refer this matter to higher authorities." "So, does it all make sense now? Do you still think that I'm a treacherous traitor?" I exclaimed, overly excited that our certain deaths had been postponed, at least for a while, and that it was my idea that got us out of it, no thanks to the ridiculous piece of royalty over there still grinning gleefully at my graciousness, "Remember, I really didn't hurt anyone or steal anything! I'm a good girl through and through!" "But you aided an emissary of the enemy," snorted the halberdier, his curt tone cutting my happiness in its middle, "The law still considers you a criminal, until a higher official from the Palace judges otherwise. You may, however, enjoy the benefits of a comfortable accommodation in this room for as long as it takes for aforementioned official to arrive. Treasure it well." "Don't forget you are still on the death row," reminded the spearman, his directness deflating my balloon of expectations, "If the Palace decrees it so, you shall be executed as we promised earlier. However, until you are handed over to a greater authority, we shall ensure that you are sufficiently provided for with victuals and drink. Do not take our hospitality for granted." "Fine, fine ..." I sighed as the guards retreated and proceeded to shut the door, but not before peering in to deliver one last reminder ... or threat. "Stay here, and behave well," cautioned the first guard, whom I could not identify due to being unable to see his weapon. "And don't you dare try escaping," warned the second guard, whose identity was a mystery as long as his weapon was. As the door shut for the last time, I fully felt the fatigue of the ordeal weigh down upon me, and, my legs suddenly giving way, I collapsed onto my feet in a kneeling heap. Heaving with relief and exhaustion as the sweat on my back soaked into my dress, I saw only the tips of Pwyns Xjrmynq's boots peeking out from under the hem of his robe as he stood in front of me ... and heard only his voice, draining into my ears like waste water from the sink. "My, splendid performance, an incredible display, an awesome demonstration of strength, resolution and wit from one like you, good Xkwyr," congratulated Pwyns Xjrmynq, the little tones of happiness still ringing in his voice, "One most loyal to my cause ... and the cause of the Kingdom of Consonance, deserves the praise of all of its royalty and all of its denizens, praise which I most graciously lavish upon you on their behalf. Thank you, Charlotte, Xkwyr of our honourable kingdom." "Yes ... right ... okay, enough," I groaned as I sniffed the folds of my dress, which still smelt pleasantly grassy despite the dust and sweat that had in areas spoiled it a dirty grey, "I was doing it because I found this whole enterprise stupid." "This whole ... what's that you say, my dear?" he asked as he bent down to hear a little better ... but thankfully his face was still out of my rather restricted line of sight, "What is stupid?" "This nonsense. Killing people ... killing each other ... killing me, who didn't do a thing, just because people are hateful and paranoid," I grumbled in a tone which, despite my posture and my obvious resentment, had a hint of philosophy to it, "Not to mention really stupid. I'm glad that you're happy about it, because I am, too." "Well ... um ..." he pondered for a moment, before continuing, "I don't really comprehend your meaning, but ... if it's good for Consonance, I am, naturally, in full support of it. Persevere, dear Xkwyr, and together, you and I will see this noble quest of ours through!" "Right," I growled, rather dissatisfied, but when he placed that chilly, trembling hand of his upon my shoulder, still aching from that mauling it had received, I simply knew that I had to get up. "You'll do it. I'll see to that." Wow! Despite heaps upon heaps of blunders, goof-ups and several temporary paralyses of logic and common sense, Charlotte has managed to successfully ... well, temporarily, at least ... defend the cause of Pwyns Xjrmynq of Consonace? What say everyone for a reward? Like a stat modification of +1 Con, +1 Cha (and -1 Int, -1 Wis for being unnecessarily stupid about it)? But since Charlotte has no stats, in more ways than one, we should do with something nice, like a level up! If Charlotte is a Level 2 Swordsgirl, she becomes a Level 3 Swordsgirl! Hurray! Huzzah! Yippee-yay! If Charlotte is a Level 2 Priestess, she become a Level 3 Priestess! Wowee! Yahoo! Tantara-boom-de-ray! If Charlotte is something else, other than a consummate liar ... um, you must have missed something. Oh well. - Your adventure ends. Here? (hmm ... the effects of punctuation!) - posted by Charlotte | 3:04 pm (0) comments Friday, March 05, 2004 I am so tired. Hmm ... it appears that I am still alive, and not just barely at that. Unlike Stephen Hawking, I am fully capable of talking in means other than by my fingers, and I suppose I can run away if I don't want to hold such a conversation with you. Oh well, so this sums it up. I'm fine. Now don't bother me about results. Well, I suppose if you want to know anything, you could ask me (if you can catch me) and I'll tell you, that's all right with me. But in the mean time I am going to sleep. Until someone suggests it to me, which will hopefully not be any time in the near future, I will keep my comments and my feelings reserved. Or I could spout some drivel which could be repeated from any other throat but there wouldn't be much point in it, would there? And I'm too lazy. You know what this means? Right, it means that now more than half of the posts on this page are empty. What a ripoff. So much for updating everyday, eh, darling? Now get off and go do some real work, now you have credibility in your hands. On other notes, went out with class on one last drunken yet non-alcoholic night of revelry. Realise that we'll never see each other again unless we deliberately set out to meet each other, and judging from the way some people deliberately set out to avoid meeting each other it can be correctly surmised that we shall never gather again. By the way, all of these stupid blabberings shall be overwritten because they were written while I was in a stupid (read, in an incidence of stupor) state, and are highly irrelevant to anything at hand, so I see no point in preserving them. Good night. Good bye. I still think someone is going to die. But it won't be me, for now, maybe. - Your adventure ... @&$%! Oh shut up! - posted by Charlotte | 3:40 pm (0) comments Thursday, March 04, 2004 - A Way with Words, Part VIII.ii - 24. The book? The book ... you don't mean ... no ...! "Aei ... I'm warning you ..." I stammered as I did my very best to back away from her, advancing upon me bearing a menacing grin of malice, "I haven't lost my temper yet ... I get violent when I'm cornered, you know!" "Don't be stupid, I'm not cornering you!" she giggled as, despite her words, she continued to edge her way toward me at a pace faster than I was edging away from her, "I just think you need ... a makeover, since you're going to have to pose as the Princess." "A makeover?" I yelped, practically gagging. Was she really serious? All those jokes on the way to town, then in the middle of talking to her friends in the town, and now ... was she really going to do something to me? I didn't mind the idea of getting a new look, but it was preferable that I be safe back where I belong at the time, and that makeover not be done by a psychopathic, maniacal little kid with a penchant for satirism. "Y ... you're not going to touch me! I don't care how nice you think you can make me, I'm not putting anything else on ... or taking anything off, for that matter!" "My, you're really taking this personally, aren't you?" she murmured in a tone of bemusement, before turning on me again with that same sinister smile, "It can't hurt, really. Since you're not from around here, why not take my advice on how to dress your best. You don't know anything about the Princess, do you?" "Well, no, I don't ... but neither do you! You said so yourself!" I retorted, very much distraught, "I'm not a whore! This is my body, and I'm very possessive of it! It's not some toy for you to ... to practice on! Don't you even dare!" "Sigh, all right, fine ... I guess I'll respect your wish ... for now," she sighed as, folding her arms defensively, she finally let off pursuing me, "I was figuring something like this might happen, since you're the difficult, repressed, and unreasonably prudish sort." She turned about to fetch something, something which she had left on the corner table beside the sofa. "What do you mean by that? Do you mean that you live an incredibly more liberal and easygoing life than I do?" I protested, hurt and unnerved by her remarks, "Or is your unmannerly behaviour with me the product of a life constricted by suppression and limitation?" "Yeah, yeah, enough with the witty comebacks and retorts and over-the-head psychoanalyses ..." she murmured as she retrieved the object she had left, and returned to smile toothily at me. You mean they had psychoanalysis in this medieval world? "I'm glad I brought this book from the library back there. I was thinking that you wouldn't want me to do you up anything nice ... *sniff* what wasted talent *sniff sniff* ... so it's best that if you decide not to look like royalty, you should at least sound like it! That's what this book is about!" "And, pardon me, but what does it say on the front?" I asked, utterly clueless as to the written language of the people here. Perhaps Aei had explained it to me a while back, but staring at its front as she held its base with both hands, the ornate and elaborate runes were utterly indiscernible to even my deepest ciphering skills. "'How to Sound A Right and Royal'," she declared, taking a peek at its front before returning it to my view, "Since you're the Royal Princess, you should sound like ... like a Royal sort of person. Doesn't that make sense?" "But I sound perfectly fine the way I am!" I insisted unhappily, "And the title of that book doesn't even sound right. Don't you mean 'How to Sound Upright and Royal'? A book publisher wouldn't be so careless as to leave a typographical error right on the cover!" "Huh? No, I said, 'How to Sound A Right and Royal' ... hey, you're right, it doesn't make sense!" that realisation coming a little too late, she grasped the top of the book tightly and stared right into its cover ... "Oh, I misread it. It's actually 'How to Sound A Right and Royal ... Twit'?" Uh, what? "You know, Aei, I feel perfectly honoured that I actually need training in such a ... not a discipline ... such a thing!" I groaned as I planted my face into my hands in my misery. And I felt that I should do more, such as falling to pieces like a shattered vase, if only to dissipate the effects of such a mind-numbing farce. "Honoured, of course! A Princess is supposed to be an honourable person!" she giggled as she thumbed through the book, the contents of which, of course, I could not understand, "Anyway ... maybe this book was written by some anti-aristocratic commoner who was trying to make some money out of something of human interest. Surely he wouldn't have thought that it would actually come in useful!" "What, you're really going to use that thing?"I gasped as she mouthed a few words and made some unusual hand gestures, before opening its pages to me and proceeding to instruct me in the language of royalty ... royal twittiness. "Right! Your first lesson, dear Princess," she began cheerily as she waved a knowing finger ... before gazing at my vacant expression and realising that there really wasn't a point in opening the book to me seeing as to how there were no pictures, "All right, try something like this. Change all your words to things like ... like thee, and thou. I shouldn't need to explain it to you because you've read some books where they use those words ... um ... there are books where you come from, right?" "Well, of course there are books! We're not illiterate, or enjoy carrying slabs of engraved stone around with us!" I retorted, realising that making fun of other people's cultures was a natural response between foreigners, "And ... but nobody really talks like that, do they?" "No, but ... if you want to make yourself stand out, and sound profound and mighty, you should try," she asserted. Oh heck, since this whole Princess thing was a joke is it already was, I guess there wasn't much harm in making it even more ridiculous than it already was. "And you can try referring to yourself in the third person, and use lots of long words, and sound ... really strange. There's a list of examples in this book ... I could read it out for you if you wanted." "Nay, we must decline thy humble offer," I replied nonchalantly in a voice as emotionless as possible, difficult considering how inside of me I was on the verge of bursting with either shame or laughter, "We do perceive the great extent of our abilities in extending the degrees of our conversation to such a level, and therefore thy assistance, well-intentioned as it may be, would be unnecessary." "W ... wha ... wow! I can't believe it!" Aei gasped as she drew back in surprise, dropping the book on the floor in the process as she gaped at me, trying my hardest to stifle laughter and groaning simultaneously, "You're good at this! Are you a princess in the world where you come from, too?" "Gah! I can't stand this! No, no, no, no, no!!" I screamed as Aei got on her knees and made several grovelling bows out of respect of the incredible magnificence of yours truly, "It's just that ... we learn stuff like this in school, where we read books where people speak like that! I'm not royalty or anything, it's just something we're taught!" "Oh, so they're teaching you to be a royal person?" Aei inquired coyly as I smacked my face into the arm of the couch in horror, "Great, so you have the lessons, and now you can put what you've learned into practice!" "No, you ... you doofus!" I whined as she continued grinning at me in that inscrutably mischievous fashion, "We learn it in school because ... because it's something interesting to learn and remember, but it's not something to be used! It's just something to know, so you can understand when people talk like that ... in books! It's not like people go to school to be trained to be nobles, you know!" "Hehehe ... you're so good at this, darling, that you don't even need to go to school to be royal," Aei giggled, rolling on the floor and practically in tears. Evidently, it was obvious who was enjoying this ridiculous shot at royalty more. "So we don't need this book, then. Just sound like that to everyone, and you're set!" "You can't make me!" I hissed defensively as I retreated to hide myself behind the arm of the couch, "I'm the one doing the talking, and if I don't want to there's nothing you can do about it!" "But ... but surely you want to be as convincing a Princess as possible, if you want to get home, right?" she sniggered evilly, while stuffing the book into a dress pocket. "And I won't be, if you insist on me sounding like a royal twit!" I snarled, baring a pair of finely sharpened canines. "Honestly, no body around here knows what a truly royal person sounds like, so you might as well follow what the book says," she argued rather vehemently, though unconvincingly. Why should I trust a book that had 'twit' as part of its title? "And don't forget, you're not supposed to be responding to 'Princess', so you should have that something ... something in your speech, that makes you special!" Well, all right, she had a point there. But it was seriously damaging to my mental health to actually attempt to consistently speak in such a ridiculous manner. Speaking of a convenient opportunity, however ... "Princess? My good Princess, are you there?" that same matronly voice rang out from behind the door, accompanied by a series of stuttering raps upon the door, "I'm sorry if I was interrupting anything, but ... you see, we are short of time ..." "Um, er, just hold on a ... eep ..." I was about to reply in full when Aei shot me a rather critical glance which meant ... unfortunately, my reflexive reaction had overriden the strict and direct requirements of our master plan, not to reply to any summons by that particular title. Right, so I goofed. "Look, it's no problem with me if you want to play the part in full," Aei hissed, glancing at me sideways, "But at least be honest about it and stop lying to me as to your intentions." "I ... that wasn't intentional!" I protested helplessly knowing that I had been careless again, "But we should be going now. We shouldn't be keeping that lady waiting any more than is absolutely necessary, with all your ridiculous attempts to change the way I behave!" "I don't need to attempt it!" she asserted with a childlike huffiness, "You're already good enough at it! Now go out and show your skill!" "No, I shan't," I huffed similarly as I glanced away in that same childlike argumentativeness. "You should!" she demanded insistently. "I shan't!" "Should!" "Princess ... is there anything wrong? We have a very pressing matter at hand here, and it would be much appreciated if you could ... well ..." the lady outside stammered uneasily, "If you could make haste ..." "See what you're doing by acting so difficult!" Aei sniffed as she spat accusingly at me, "You're making her wait even longer! Not being very considerate, are you?" "Look, I just want to set this straight, all right?" I decided to put my foot down on the issue as I got on my feet to glare down on the still childishly persistent girl, "I'm not a Princess. But, if I'm supposed to pretend to be a Princess, that is pretending not to be a Princess, doesn't it make sense that I not sound like a Princess?" "I don't understand your circular argument," she grumbled as she got up from the sofa and returned that resentful stare, before turning away, "But it's not nice to keep that pleasant lady waiting, so ..." "So ... hey, wait! No ... don't!" I yelped and reached out to grasp her, but it was too late as with her speediness, she dashed around the couch and for the doorway, turning the doorknob and yanking the heavy wooden door open ... "I ... oh, I am sorry ...!" the lady outside cried as she stood in the newly opened doorway, her fist still raised to rap on the door once again. She was rather tall, her height accentuated by her neatly sculpted hairstyle, and while she wore a somewhat plain and modest dress it did not do sufficiently much to conceal a buxom figure hiding beneath the folds of cloth. What such a young lady in the bloom of health was doing confining herself to servitude inside an empty and almost unfunctioning town hall was beyond me. "Were you in the midst of something, your highness?" "No, I ..." I stammered, only to be cut off once again by that knowing and reminding glare peeking out from behind the door, "Nothing ..." "She's fine, don't worry about her one bit. We were just having a short discussion, and now we're ready to go," declared Aei on my behalf as she sprang out from behind the door, "You are, aren't you, Charlotte?" "Yes, I ..." And that glare again. What did I do this time? Oh ... all right, fine, anything to get out of this charade and on with the rest of the show. Taking in a deep breath and sucking in my stomach, I began afresh, "Indeed, we are ... sufficiently prepared ..." I ... for a lack of a better word, 'proclaimed' ... from behind the couch. This unusual way of operating surely made me wonder who was supposed to be the one of the higher rank here. What is more, Charlotte was not one who would refer to herself as 'we', and the oddness and absurdity of it all was utterly unnerving. What was sickening to the throat, however, was the way Aei responded to my change of expression by transforming her glare into that saccharine smile, and clenching her fist hidden by her side in a sign of victory. "Aei, don't you think it's best that you ..." the lady stuttered, obviously not having encountered such a farcical situation before in her life, "you ... take your leave? We don't want your presence to be a burden to the Princess." "I'm no burden at all!" she replied with that same childish insistence, planting her hands on her hips, "Right, Charlotte?" So that was my cue to chime along. "Certainly ... not a burden in the slightest," I repeated dryly as I advanced from behind the couch, the lady pointing out the path for me, gesturing with her hand. Well, though at times I felt that I really wanted her to leave, the truth is that I needed her assistance and guidance in getting through this ordeal in a foreign land, no matter how twisted and deluded it may, at times, seem, "Let us take our leave, good lady, it would do best not to tarry any longer." "Er ... aye ..." she acknowledged rather timorously, as a gleam of curiosity lit up in her eyes at the sound of that intriguing medieval tone, "Do step this way ..." With a grin of approval from Aei, who kept up behind me, it seemed that my twittering attempt at sounding impressive had taken off after all. And so I followed closely behind the lady, who led us back through the mazelike pandemonium of the town hall. Verily, thou hast truly mastered the commendable feat of speaking profoundly, one which even the greatest of imbeciles Pwyns Xjrmynq himself would be sore pressed to match. To continue thy valiant quest, do peruse the following chapter : 28. Princess, thee enthusiastically en-thou-ed - "You Shall Not Pass! I Am Invincible!" - the nameless Black Knight, shortly after arm-less and leg-less - posted by Charlotte | 3:51 pm (0) comments Wednesday, March 03, 2004 - War of Words, Part VIII.ii - 22. Your mission : "Wha ... aah! No! I don't want to die! Get me out of here, faithful Xkwyr!" - Pwyns Xjrmynq. Translated, get him (and myself, of course) out of trouble ... since the poor sod looks like he can't even find his way out of a speech bubble. "I tell you, he does have a point ... behind all that gabble he's speaking. If only you could listen to him yourself!" I remonstrated while I walked down the corridor, prisoner in the hands of two armed, armoured, nonsensical, yet no-nonsense guards, walking both forwards and backwards as I attempted to present the case to both guards at once. "The point is, lady, that we can't listen to him ourselves!" argued the spearman behind me as he kept a steady pace despite me nearly bumping into him more than once, "That is precisely why we need you to translate his words for us, if you want any leniency on our part." "Don't forget, however, that to us you're still a criminal," reminded the halberdier before me as he kept a watchful eye to ensure I did not make a false move or try to get away, "If you do not translate the villain's words exactly as he speaks them, rest assured you will be punished." "But that's impossible!" I exclaimed, much to the alarm of the guards as they suddenly paused and turned to glare right at me, "I mean ... I'm inevitably going to have to sort through his jumble of words to get through to the essence of what he's saying for you, and in doing so I won't have a choice but to use my own words part of the time, won't I? So I can't repeat exactly what he says ..." "But if you can claim to understand both our languages exactly as they are spoken," considered the spearman, who was more of the stolid, scholarly type, "You should be able to repeat him exactly as he says, if your 'all-tongue' is true." "Even if you speak in the plainest language possible, we cannot trust you entirely," remarked the halberdier, who was more of the suspicious, soldierly type, "Your best option, therefore, should be to repeat him word for words, to sound honest." "But ... but I'm a human, not a trained monkey or a machine!" I protested unhappily as the guards, having finished their reprimanding, hustled me along again, "I don't copy people in such an irritating fashion ... imagine what it would sound like to him, who can't understand you! I'm not a mime!" "I didn't catch some of the words you used," remarked the spearman, "But as far as we are concerned you are still a criminal and a traitor." My, that was encouraging. "As a traitor you're not worthy of humanity," cursed the halberdier, "As far as the law is concerned, however, you are an animal and a beast." Say, that was pleasant. "At least I'm tame ..." I hissed as serpentlike as I could as the pair urged me forward down the corridor. Twisting and winding like some ancient labyrinth, one would wonder how they managed to fit an entire maze into something that looked no more impressive than the average stone building, one not even mansionlike in the least. Passing doors mostly sealed and unlabled, I thought I had finally caught a glimpse of a shaft of light from outside rather than the grim candles and gas lamps of the interior, until the pair shunted me away from salvation and down another deep, dark set of passageways ... until we came to another wooden door, one that looked slightly more polished and ornate than the rest. "Where did you shut him up?" I demanded rather insistently, not thinking that a prisoner would be shut up in a room with such a well-crafted door. I was cooperative, and I got a jail cell with a metal door and bars. "Where are you taking me? What are you doing?" "Oh, it was merely a matter of necessity," the halberdier remarked curtly as he leaned against his weapon for support, while regarding me disdainfully with a flick of his hand, "But judging by who you claim he is you could say we took care to 'accommodate' him." "Ah, I claim responsibility for this tactic," the spearman added happily as he rested his weapon against the wall, while proceeding to unlock the door with a key from his pocket, "He was uncooperative beyond measure, and this was the only way to silence him." "Accommodate? Silence? Sounds ... insidious ..." I murmured as the guard worked on unlocking the door, pondering as to what gruesome and untimely fate befell the bewildered but ultimately good-intentioned (or should it be the other way around?) Pwyns Xjrmynq, only to have my jaw drop in horror as the guard opened the door ... to fill my eyes with crimson. The crimson of cheerful red paint. Lit by numerous slow wax lamps anchored to the wall, the room looked more of a lounge than a prison of any kind. With a three-piece suite of sofas and tables in its centre, a large wardrobe against the wall, and even a dresser for ... wait, this wasn't just an ordinary living room! For starters, there were no windows, which meant that this room was used for ... "Oh, do pardon me for my unpreparedness, you startled me some ..." exclaimed a rather surprised Pwyns Xjrmynq who emerged from behind a couch, folding the news paper he was glancing through on the centre table, an odd way of occupying the time especially since he was unlikely to be able to understand their written language, and also the fact that the paper was probably out of date as well. "Oh, if it should be but those brutish fiends, and ... my good Xkwyr Charlotte!" "I ... um ..." I stammered, knowing what to feel but not really what to say as a guard shoved me into the room from behind, "What, may I ask ... are you doing in a ladies' room?" "Oh, I am in one?" Daft, I say, daft! Weren't the inordinate number of toiletries, accessories, and even the soothing bottle of perfume strategically situated on the table in the middle of the room giveaways enough? "Hmm, that probably figures. These barbarians might be savage and brutal but at least they are kind enough to their ladyfolk ... and to me, I suppose, by virtue of my nobility and standing in the house of Consonance." "Right," I had just about enough of this royal drivel, but there were important causes at hand which needed to be defended, and if this senseless ranting was allowed to continue it would be certain that they would not be, "The point is, whether they put you in here because of it or not, the guards need proof that you're a noble, or they'll have us both killed!" "Oh, but isn't my innate refineness and inherent royal carriage proof enough of the illustrious blood I bear?" proclaimed the royal twit in an overly exaggerated manner which certainly verified his royalty ... that idiocy which tended to run in people able to get away with anything, and exposed him as little more than a skinny starveling hiding under the mantle of a name, "In fact, you are proof of my nobility, as you have been endowed with rank and standing on the mere basis of my charge. Don't you consider yourself blessed for one of your age?" "No," I hissed. First I was reduced to an animal, and now I am a material piece of proof? Besides, I looked and felt like the same old ordinary girl ... not that I had anything wrong with that ... and not just another extension of an overly conceited wad of royalty. "They want material proof ... solid proof! Something they can hold, something that proclaims you! You know they can't understand what you're saying, so give them something that can do the explaining for you!" "Why, you can, dear Charlotte!" smiled Pwyns Xjrmynq in a pleasant ... and deeply unnerving fashion, "You're solid, can be held, and, seeing as to how the people here understand you, you would most certainly be able of doing the favour of proclaiming me to the world as my loyal and most trustworthy Xkwyr! What an honourable person you already are!" "..." I groaned as I slapped myself on the side of my head, in an effort to jolt as much of my grey matter away from the slightest remarks made by Pwyns Xjrmynq ... and to thinking of an idea to save our skins, "I ... hate ... this ..." I was in the midst of my grumbling as a heavy gauntleted hand descended on my shoulder and squeezed it painfully like a piece of paper to be scrunched up. "Yeow!" I screamed as I tried to wring my way out of the iron grasp, but it was useless. The most I could do was to twist my head back, to see the two guards glaring at me, who, having had the patience to endure our futile conversation thus far, had decided that they had come to their limits. "Look, you damned kid," snarled the halberdier, who was the one crushing my shoulder to a fetid pulp, "We can tell that you're not discussing any strategies to escape, but you had better make sense before we start losing our temper!" "Don't waste our time," growled the spearman, who was the one who had abstained from such a threat, "And yours as well! Don't forget that you're still under the death penalty. If you don't talk, you will have to be put to the sword!" "Wait ... please ... just let me get this under control ..." I burbled as I twisted in that vicious vice, only to fall backward unceremoniously and nearly into the arms of a very startled and confused Pwyns Xjrmynq ... who wasn't helping one bit. Doesn't he see that I'm trying to get him out of trouble here? Do people tend to fall into imbecility when they're faced with death staring in their eyes? Not me, hopefully, for my mind was running ... sprinting, searching for that way out. Or, in the words of that guard, I would be put to the sword. Didn't he say poison earlier? Sword ... sword, that was it! "I've got it!" I cried with a nearly Archimidean eureka as I leapt back onto my feet, "You said you recognised the seal on the sword I was carrying earlier, right? Only someone royal would be allowed to have such a seal! Surely, this man here, who gave me the sword, must be something more than an ordinary person!" "Ah, certainly, Charlotte!" applauded the delighted man as he savoured my appraisal of him, "Naturally! Of course, nobility has the most powerful way of permeating every aspect of a person, does it not? It may be somewhat premature of me to say this, but I can declare that you will indeed make a most excellent noble yourself! You have the honoured word of Pwyns Xjrmynq, heir to the throne of Consonance, himself, and it is not given lightly!" Shut up, twat. That doesn't matter now, does it? "The girl has a point," considered the spearman, thumbing his chin in the depth of his thought, "That sword certainly bears that hateful mark of Consonance on it ... and it looks far too unwieldy to be of any real use in battle. Perhaps that could truly be a ceremonial weapon of the enemy?" "You may be right," replied the halberdier, as he loosened his posture in a gesture of approval, "I have never seen a more useless and nonsensical weapon of war in my life. But to ascertain that it is not a counterfeit smithed by brigands, we may have to refer this matter to higher authorities." "So, does it all make sense now? Do you still think that I'm a treacherous traitor?" I exclaimed, overly excited that our certain deaths had been postponed, at least for a while, and that it was my idea that got us out of it, no thanks to the ridiculous piece of royalty over there still grinning gleefully at my graciousness, "Remember, I really didn't hurt anyone or steal anything! I'm a good girl through and through!" "But you aided an emissary of the enemy," snorted the halberdier, his curt tone cutting my happiness in its middle, "The law still considers you a criminal, until a higher official from the Palace judges otherwise. You may, however, enjoy the benefits of a comfortable accommodation in this room for as long as it takes for aforementioned official to arrive. Treasure it well." "Don't forget you are still on the death row," reminded the spearman, his directness deflating my balloon of expectations, "If the Palace decrees it so, you shall be executed as we promised earlier. However, until you are handed over to a greater authority, we shall ensure that you are sufficiently provided for with victuals and drink. Do not take our hospitality for granted." "Fine, fine ..." I sighed as the guards retreated and proceeded to shut the door, but not before peering in to deliver one last reminder ... or threat. "Stay here, and behave well," cautioned the first guard, whom I could not identify due to being unable to see his weapon. "And don't you dare try escaping," warned the second guard, whose identity was a mystery as long as his weapon was. As the door shut for the last time, I fully felt the fatigue of the ordeal weigh down upon me, and, my legs suddenly giving way, I collapsed onto my feet in a kneeling heap. Heaving with relief and exhaustion as the sweat on my back soaked into my dress, I saw only the tips of Pwyns Xjrmynq's boots peeking out from under the hem of his robe as he stood in front of me ... and heard only his voice, draining into my ears like waste water from the sink. "My, splendid performance, an incredible display, an awesome demonstration of strength, resolution and wit from one like you, good Xkwyr," congratulated Pwyns Xjrmynq, the little tones of happiness still ringing in his voice, "One most loyal to my cause ... and the cause of the Kingdom of Consonance, deserves the praise of all of its royalty and all of its denizens, praise which I most graciously lavish upon you on their behalf. Thank you, Charlotte, Xkwyr of our honourable kingdom." "Yes ... right ... okay, enough," I groaned as I sniffed the folds of my dress, which still smelt pleasantly grassy despite the dust and sweat that had in areas spoiled it a dirty grey, "I was doing it because I found this whole enterprise stupid." "This whole ... what's that you say, my dear?" he asked as he bent down to hear a little better ... but thankfully his face was still out of my rather restricted line of sight, "What is stupid?" "This nonsense. Killing people ... killing each other ... killing me, who didn't do a thing, just because people are hateful and paranoid," I grumbled in a tone which, despite my posture and my obvious resentment, had a hint of philosophy to it, "Not to mention really stupid. I'm glad that you're happy about it, because I am, too." "Well ... um ..." he pondered for a moment, before continuing, "I don't really comprehend your meaning, but ... if it's good for Consonance, I am, naturally, in full support of it. Persevere, dear Xkwyr, and together, you and I will see this noble quest of ours through!" "Right," I growled, rather dissatisfied, but when he placed that chilly, trembling hand of his upon my shoulder, still aching from that mauling it had received, I simply knew that I had to get up. "You'll do it. I'll see to that." Wow! Despite heaps upon heaps of blunders, goof-ups and several temporary paralyses of logic and common sense, Charlotte has managed to successfully ... well, temporarily, at least ... defend the cause of Pwyns Xjrmynq of Consonace? What say everyone for a reward? Like a stat modification of +1 Con, +1 Cha (and -1 Int, -1 Wis for being unnecessarily stupid about it)? But since Charlotte has no stats, in more ways than one, we should do with something nice, like a level up! If Charlotte is a Level 2 Swordsgirl, she becomes a Level 3 Swordsgirl! Hurray! Huzzah! Yippee-yay! If Charlotte is a Level 2 Priestess, she become a Level 3 Priestess! Wowee! Yahoo! Tantara-boom-de-ray! If Charlotte is something else, other than a consummate liar ... um, you must have missed something. Oh well. - Your adventure ends. Here? (hmm ... the effects of punctuation!) - posted by Charlotte | 3:01 pm (0) comments Tuesday, March 02, 2004 - The Wayward, Part VIII.i - 25. Someone? You mean he was that guy? "Wait, don't tell me!" I exclaimed as I jogged through my memory, and found a street sign which looked like it directed me to what I was looking for, "You were that guy heading in the other direction down this road ... riding in a horse-drawn carriage." "Well, seeing as to how I'm presently riding a horse-drawn carriage away, I don't think that's a particularly specific observation ..." Io Aoi demurred, scratching the base of his chin provocatively. "No, really, I know who I'm talking about," I asserted rather insistently, accentuating my confidence with the slap of my fist into my hand, "It was a brown-haired guy ... who was really mean, who yelled at me and told me to get that monster behind me out of the way. Isn't that right, huh?" "I ... well ..." And then his expression flickered as the light bulb of epiphany behind his eyes seemed to suffer power difficulties, "Yeah ... I guess ... I figured that the person under that hood must've been your little sibling or something, seeing as to how the two of you were walking together for most of the time that I could see you ..." "Little sibling?" I repeated indignantly, before glancing behind, and gazing into the empty hood of the creature devoid of a visage, and realised that it should not be despised for not being an adequate substitute for a sibling but pitied, for unnecessarily (and unexplainably) being more than one. "That's not the nicest way to describe our friend over here!" I retorted, instinctively defensive. Well, come on! It's always nice to own something ... something that responds to and obeys you ... "Haha, don't worry about it," he chirped as he laid the reins of the horse in his lap. Having crossed over most of the undulating terrain I remember passing through on my way to the laboratory, the way ahead looked straight and clear and the animal should not be needing any more guidance, "We all have our own little things in life. Like my horse here, for instance, Io's Iiuuaa, who stuck with me through engorged and emaciated. And other things, too, like ..." And he mysteriously fell silent, not continuing the sentence, instead simply sitting there pursing his lips oddly as if he was sucking on a dry reed, or the thin stem of a pipe. Halfway back to town, I guess ... we were back at that precipice where I remembered finding myself, lost and disoriented, and sniggered bemusedly at the fact that I was still lost and disoriented hours later, despite having embarked on an adventure of sorts. The beauty of the cliffside view had dissipated somewhat with the clearing of the clouds, and the sun making headway up into the sky to scorch the earth mercilessly, the now dull and coarse lukewarm breeze seeming to buffet it on its way. Io's silence seemed to arise at that very point, on the road between the farm and the cliff, and in my mind I could imagine him lying back in the warmth of the sun and reminiscing on his past 'adventures' in his younger days. Heh. And I guess my adventure with him now would likely be one I remember some day in the future, when I too lie back and dream. Unlike Io Aoi, I had no dreams to ponder for the present, however, and my short attention span drove me to notice something else. As the carriage jolted a little upon rolling over a loose stone, the items in my pocket thudded heavily through the layers of my skirt and sounded off the wooden floor, reminding me of their presence. Ah, yes! And what better way to relieve a bored and unentertained mind by fishing through the secrets inscribed in the diary of someone full of fantasies. Um ... fantasies about the Princess? Maybe that wasn't such a good idea ... It didn't matter, anyway ... fishing both items out of my pockets I glanced at the seductive and enchantingly arrogant smirk of the Princess Uaeouue, before setting it on my lap and turning my attention to the leather-bound diary-like book I had found beneath it. And I promptly realised that, since I couldn't understand the written language of the people here, I didn't have a hope of actually finding out who the owner of the diary was, let alone just what was written inside. Grumbling at missing out on a potentially amusing (or, possibly, potentially outraging) glance through the thoughts of some individual or another, I stuffed both items back in either pockets and turned my gaze to the main road, where judging from the gradual proliferation of houses by the roadside, it seemed that we were entering a settlement. Io Aoi noticed my curious gaze, and before I could ask where we were going he was quick and instinctive in answering that very same question. "Maybe you don't know this already, but I'd better tell you, anyway. This is the town of Ouaiie ("What?"), and it's basically a happy, laid-back centre for farmers to gather and exchange farm stuff and gossip. Lovely place. I don't live here, of course, being an explorer, but since this place is rather backwater and the closest town to many of the places which offer the greatest adventures, I do pass through here pretty often. The local innkeeper knows me, I'm a regular." Suppressing the urge to ask the most obvious question, which was to repeat the name of the town so I could here it properly, my choice of replies was strongly affected by nothing other than my irreverent stomach, which gargled angrily upon hearing the mention of the word 'inn'. "You said that there's an inn here ..." I murmured, caressing my growling belly, "Do they happen to serve food as well? Can we have breakfast?" "Breakfast? Oh, I was thinking about heading to the next town for that ..." he remarked rather affectedly, perhaps proclaiming his ability to go without food for a long time or similarly criticising my inability to do so, "But I guess, since you asked, that we could try to get a meal here." Yeah. Didn't he just say that there wasn't another town for quite some distance? Either he meant to say 'lunch', or he was simply up to his usual blustery lies to show himself off. "Um, great, yeah," I hummed, not particularly pleased with his response but hoping to avoid a similarly annoying follow up, "Let's do just that." It was clear that we had reached the town centre as the gravel road, now lined on both sides by small brick or wooden houses, gave way to a large circus in what was presumably the town's nexus. In its centre stood a elaborately carved fountain, the water spurting from it so full of energy and clarity that it almost seemed like a natural spring. Numerous passers-by strolled the roadsides of each path leading from the crossroads, no street being clearly designated for them, and were free to cross the road at their ease, indeed, just about all of them were careful enough to stop and look before they walked, thus avoiding the various horse-drawn vehicles traversing the roads without incident. Io Aoi turned right, away from a road teeming with shoppers which looked like it led to the seaside, and then made another turn, this time into the roomy open-mouthed garage next to a building bedecked with more windows and lamps than the usual. So that was the inn, and this was the stable. "You sure no one's going to ... to kidnap it or something?" I questioned rather timorously, not too relieved at the thought of my good friend being left in the carriage alone while Io and I went off to get something to eat. "Pshaw, who'd want something like that!" smirked an Io Aoi somewhat impressed at my concern for something so ... unworldly, "For starters, I think it's perfectly capable of defending itself if need be, and if it really did listen to you, you'ld tell it to just stay here and it wouldn't move an inch. What really begs the question, however, is whether it needs to eat or drink anything like the rest of us." "Yeah, good point," I pondered, giving the silent companion one last glance before Io latched the louvred doors of the front of the carriage shut and padlocked them tightly, "I never really thought about that. Maybe it just lives on water from the air? Or it picks up whatever it ... moves over, on the ground? I don't really want to find out ... and besides, it doesn't even look like something that can die, so maybe it should be fine to let it be ... um, are you there?" I glanced behind, to see that he had not even waited to listen to me attempt to answer his question. Instead, he was standing outside the large, heavy wooden door of the establishment, muttering something to himself as he put the key to his carriage back in one of his belt pockets. "Hmm ... so how do I put this across ... how to present myself ... don't want anything unpleasant ..." Hopefully he wasn't planning on putting a proposition to any unlucky lady within, because while he looked the type who could bear disappointment, it was unlikely that many could bear much of the farcically chauvnistic attitude he propped himself up with. "Why don't you go right in? There's not much point standing out in the middle of the street mumbling to yourself, is there?" I chirped, sounding natural, as I placed my hand on the doorknob and opened the door for him ... to his alarm, it seemed. For behind the door stood a small counter, behind which sat a plain-faced, middle-aged, slightly balding chap with a pencil and a heavy guestbook lying open beside him. He didn't seem much more than your average nameless storeholder (in this case, innkeeper) until his wandering eyes fell upon the doorway ... and the rather dumbstruck Io Aoi standing in the middle of it. "Io Aoi, self-proclaimed intrepid explorer, courageous and dauntless adventurer," snarled the innkeeper in a voice thick and rubbery with cynicism, "I am surprised that you are still brave enough ... to darken my doorstep, after I told you never to come back again until you've repaid your debts! Perhaps I should thank you for your favourable patronage ... assuming I was running a charity! We don't provide free food or lodging here, and it pains me to waste precious breath in telling you to clear off yet again, and take your stupid hat with you at that!" His voice suddenly softened, at the flaring fury in his eyes dimmed as he shifted his gaze a little, to fall upon me. "Now, young lady, pardon me for my outburst. You are more than welcome to patronise my inn, but if that is not your intention, please do me the good favour of shutting the door on that worthless filth behind you. Thank you." "?!" My jaw hung agape at this tirade so direct and focussed it almost sounded prepared, and as I turned to the target of it for advice as to my next action, I found that once again he had pre-empted me by speedily ducking behind me and back to the passage leading to the stables, shivering wildly. Too de-energised to groan, I could only huff one as I shut the heavy door carefully and turned back to confront my courageous companion turned cowardly chicken. "You said you were a regular here?" I demanded, not particularly pleased at the reception he and I had received. "I ... I am ..." he stammered, chomping on his fingers to keep his teeth from chattering, "I'm popular at the bar there, but it seems that the proprietor finally got wind of my ... hehe ... uh, did I say a regular?" he laughed uneasily, scratching the greasy hair of his peeking out from under his hat, "Maybe I meant, 'irregular', heh heh ..." "And he said that you didn't pay up, or something like that," I accused, fuelled no doubt by resentment at missing out on food, even though it might be for only minutes at best, "Aren't you a famous adventurer? Isn't exploring and questing and doing jobs enough to help you make a living?" "I ... well, yeah, of course I adventure! That's what I do!" remonstrated a fretful Io Aoi as he straightened a hat which was beginning to slip off his crown after all that scratching, "But it's not as if monsters and fearsome beasts carry gold and valuables around with them, you know? When it comes to dealing with bandits and criminals, it's more often that I have to save what little gold I have from them before they run off with it! It's an interesting and exciting job, but not the most profitable one, at that!" "Then what about your horse? You ride around on one," I retorted, spotting the obvious logical flaw, "But it's certainly not the cheapest animal to upkeep! She can get some from the wild, but how do you keep your horse fed every day with fresh, tasty grass and clean water?" "Oh, horses mightn't be the cheapest animals to feed ..." Io Aoi remarked somewhat knowingly as he led me back to the stable, "But they certainly are the easiest. Have you fed well, my dear friend?" he grinned as he patted the horse's mane, the horse currently feeding hungrily out of a trough of golden hay, undiscerningly prepared earlier for some unknown customer while being patronised by a skinflint Io. Freeloader to the extreme, I must declare. "But there's still the question of our breakfast!" I exclaimed rather indignantly, perhaps at being left out while Io concentrated his attention and his affection on the pet of his own, "You obviously don't have money enough to pay back your debt at that bar enough to get some food, and it's the likely case that you won't be getting paid for this job until you report back to ... that Palace you talked about, so how are we going to eat anything? I'm not a graminovore, you know!" "Huh. I told you to wait until we got to the next town! I was hoping not to resort to this, but ..." he demurred as he unlocked the padlock sealing his carriage and unlatched the doors, to reveal my robed companion still resting quietly where we had left it, "I know of a family around here who would be more than happy to provide me with some food, and probably some for you as well. I don't want to burden them unnecessarily, but ..." "But? You're daring enough to swipe a free lunch from a corporate enterprise, and yet you're not willing to ask someone polite and generous enough to give it to you for nothing? What kind of messed-up economist are you?" Seriously, he was asking for that one. Common sense dictates that getting something for free, no strings attached, was better than getting something for free but having a large angry man yell at you for it afterwards. "I ... well ... it's personal, you see ..." he murmured as he clambered onto the carriage, then extended a helping hand for me to pull myself onto it in a decent fashion, "But since you asked, I guess I'll give it a try. Which makes me wonder ..." "Wonder what?" I asked as I gave the creature a quick look-over, to see that it really hadn't changed a bit (beyond a slight ruffle of the robes) ever since I had left the carriage earlier, then gingerly removed the items from my pockets, them having been clanking painfully against my legs as I was climbing off and on the carriage. "I wonder why I'm doing so much for you, even though you're the one who's in debt to me after I did you the favour of taking you back to civilisation ... and more," Io Aoi sighed as he ensured that the carriage was securely fastened, before plonking himself in the driver's seat and giving the horse the gee-off, "Seeing as to how I'm in so much financial trouble, as you can see, I wonder why I'm willing to go thus far, for you." "Heh," I chuckled quietly as I fondled the items in my arms, before giving the Princess' portrait a quick glance, then turning away, "I think I might know why." So, it's your call again. Direct this bewildered adventurer on to the path of reason. Or not, well, as I said, it's up to you. 29. I'm still a prisoner! It's your responsibility to provide for me! 30. Don't imprison yourself! You just feel responsible for others! - Your adventure ... "Yay!" *runs around adventuring* ... Hey! Come back here, or I can't end your adventure! - posted by Charlotte | 3:45 pm (0) comments Monday, March 01, 2004 - A Way with Words, Part VIII.i - 23. Aah ... apples! No, no! Not the apples! Help me! "Aei ... stay away from me! Just what are you going to do?" I practically gibbered as I stumbled away from the insidiously grinning child, toppling off the sofa in the process and landing on my rear with a resounding thump. You know how the victim (or heroine, as the case may be) looks when the evil villain or monster or violent drunken male counterpart advances upon her? Think something like that ... and if it was difficult to imagine why my situation would be any similar to that you would understand just how confused, and in the process horrified, I was. "Charlotte, stop acting like a frightened little baby, okay? You ought to get prepared before you go out there!" Aei threatened, or rather, spoke as threateningly as one could sound while maintaining a humorous yet sadistic grin all the while. "I always wanted to try something like this ... on someone ..." she tittered as she stroked the corner of her glistening lips, already licked with anticipation. "Wait ... please ... before you do anything ..." I burbled, still backing away even as she turned away from me to reach for something on the small wooden table in the corner of the arrangement, "Can you at least tell me what you are going to do ... and stop grinning while you're at it ... ?" And, as if on command, she turned to smirk at me, while holding something in her hands. Erk. It was round, and palm-sized ... "Hey, look at this, Charlotte!" she giggled as she turned back to me, to reveal a pair of plump, rosy-red apples in her hands, held rather suggestively at chest level, "I knew that Auntie Eua's apples would come in handy for something like this!" "I ... er ... eep ..." A suddenly solidified glob of saliva lodged itself in the middle of my throat as I struggled to eke out more words to express my terror, that only emerged as rising bubbles from my larynx, "You're not really ... not, really ..." and as a natural reflex I grasped the collar of my dress and dragged it up to my shoulder, to prevent any foreign materials being inserted within. "By the way," she asked, her voice suddenly taking on a rather factual tone, "Are you wearing an inshirt?" "An inshirt?" I repeated, my mind distracted from an unimaginable fate while my arm remained locked against my chest in a defensive posture, "What's that? You mean, like, another layer of clothes inside?" "Oh ... I thought you might be, since it does get cold out there on the cliff late at night ..." she pondered audibly to herself, before casting that sinister glance in my direction, accompanied by that conniving smile, "If that's the case, I wouldn't be able to stuff these down your dress tight enough even if I wanted to." "What?" My eyes quickly widened in shock ... the shock of sudden relief, "You mean ... you weren't going to do that?" "Of course I wasn't! It was a joke I made just now, silly!" she laughed while still tossing the similarly cheery apples from hand to hand, "Apples are food, not clothing! I don't think it would be very comfortable having two of these down your dress, would it? Would it? Unless ..." And then her eyes bulged with a kind of horror only the self-perceived can incite. "Unless what?" I questioned, getting rather irked at this whole charade. First she tries to scare the life out of me, then she tells me it's a joke, then ... "Unless ... you wanted me to do it to you?" I ... what? Gaze and gape met each other as twin gasps confronted themselves. "My goodness ... Charlotte ... I never imagined you were that unscrupulous a kind of girl! My poor heart ... the lengths that some girls will go these days, just for the sake of looking attractive ..." "No I wasn't!" I retorted as quickly as the words formed in my mind, "It was just that ... that I was thinking you would ..." And then, tipping the apples from her hand onto the sofa, she proceeded to roll about giggling insanely like a dimunitive mad scientist whose wildest dreams had just been realised. "Charlotte, begging and pleading, weepy and tear-eyed, concerned and protective, and now confused and bewildered! I've got them all! This has to be ... no, you have to be the best stunt I have ever pulled in my life!" Oh, great. "Look, dear," I hissed as I rested my elbow against the arm of the sofa, and in turn my temple against my fist, "If you treated all your friends this way, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have any." "Oh?" That seemed to have an effect. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Charlotte!" she pouted as she clutched her arms to herself defensively, her former triviality all forgotten. "You're not exactly being very nice, either," I retorted, knowing that while this girl had feelings, they could be stretched pretty far indeed, "I'm in trouble here, and the last thing I want is for someone I'm trusting and depending on to be making fun of me, all right?" "All right!" she repeated, rather dissatisfied, but at least showing that she understood what I was getting at, "All right! Stop acting so grown-up. I'm sorry for teasing you, okay? I was really just saying that maybe you should eat a little more so you don't look so pale, and maybe even get the nice smell of fruit around you. And since this is a dressing room ... why not take a moment to straighten yourself out, and make yourself more presentable? You're not a real princess, but you've got to look like one and not like some poor commoner ... like me, for example. Got it?" "Yes. And it would be nice if you could help me out so I can understand what you mean ..." I murmured, gazing down to try and contain whatever negative emotions had been building up from the unpleasant exchange earlier, before some of them escaped as I shot her a stern glance, "As long as you promise not to make a fool out of me in the process of it." "I won't! I won't! Really!" she insisted rather weakly, as she held her trembling hands in the air to profess her innocence, "Trust me, I'll do my best!" "Hmm ... I think a nice, big, rosy pink or sky blue bow would do right just about here ..." Aei hummed as she prodded the small of my back firmly with a block of soft talc, which she had just finished using earlier to lighten the miscellaneous dirt marks scattered about my white dress. "And it would be even better if you matched it up with one in front, at your belt ... or at your collar ... or on your head! Yeah, that would be pretty!" "I told you, I'm going as myself, and I'm not interested in putting on anything more!" I retorted sharply as I sifted through my locks with the teeth of a brush Aei had conveniently found in a drawer of the dresser and handed to me, "And I'm not taking anything off, to save you the trouble of asking that later." "What a pity ... I've always dreamed of doing something like this for a living ..." she murmured wistfully as she shifted over to my side and reached under my arms to undo my belt, then tighten it, slipping the loose strap into a convenient loop, "Imagine me, the darling young retainer to a beautiful princess ..." "I've more imagined you as the retainer of a huge fortune, the leader of a criminal organisation involved in smuggling all over the world, for a huge profit, a massive quantity of drugs," I muttered as I set aside the brush to take a bite out of an apple, which I had set aside on the table half-eaten and was rapidly oxidising. "A smuggler of ... what, drunks? Or dogs? What are you talking about?" she inquired as she helpfully puffed up my sleeves around my shoulders so as to give an impression of grandeur. Apparently, they didn't have such things as drugs here, something that would normally be construed as positive but could turn out to be a disaster should I fall ill before I managed to get back home. "Well ... never mind ..." I replied, attempting to leave the subject unaddressed while I put down the apple to reach over to do up my bootlaces. I know it's not particularly hygienic, but then there was no one watching so there wasn't really a need to act particularly cultured at this point in time, "Anyway, I think we should be going ..." My words were cut off by, conveniently enough, the sound of someone rapping firmly, but respectfully, against the polished wooden door. "Uh ... um ... my Princess, I'm sorry if I may be interrupting, but it's important that you ... well ... the man ..." that same restrained lady's voice rang out from the other side of the locked door, "He seems rather ... uncooperative ..." "I ..." I was about to reply when Aei, ever watchful, quickly clamped her hand over my half-parted lips, shot me a glare which told me to leave things to her, and called out to the waiting lady on my behalf. "Um ... we're almost done. We'll be out in just about a bit ..." "Aei," came that same voice in that same respectful tone from behind the door, "Aei, I don't think that you ought to be following the Princess at this point in time, maybe you should be leaving?" "Oh, no, no, I'm no bother at all!" she laughed in her light-hearted manner, though this time it was slightly forced, "Charlotte wants me here, doesn't she?" And then she glanced at me expectantly. What? "Say something!" she hissed as she (a little too late) snatched her hand from before my mouth, "I called your name, now respond to it!" "Yes, yes ... there really isn't any reason why she ought to leave ..." I stammered, in a tone much more awkward and deliberate than Aei's when she attempted it, "She's been helpful so far ... We'll be out quickly, don't worry about it!" "Er ... all right. Do make haste, your highness, I shall be waiting patiently behind the door." called the lady as both of us got to our feet, I finishing the rest of my apple while Aei slipped off to return the utilities we borrowed to their rightful compartments. Mmm ... just as juicy, plus it smelt delectable. Is this what Aei meant by the natural fragrance of fruits? "Stop sniffing yourself like a puppy and let's go!" hissed Aei as she tugged at my sleeve, having darted back from the dresser at her speedy child's pace, "Your people are waiting to see you, now go present yourself!" "Right, right, yes, ma'am!" I yelped as I followed her, dragging me backwards for quite some distance before she realised that I wasn't even facing her in the first place. To ensure that it was I who was the one presenting myself, she nochalantly reached over for my limp hand and pressed it over the doorknob, then unlatched the lock for me to make the final move. Heh ... so, who was the one in charge here? "Your majesty, Princess Uaeouue?" beckoned a rather wary lady who was standing just a little behind the door, enough to be safe from it as it swung open. She was somewhat tall, her height accentuated by her sculpted hair, and on her right eye she wore a monocle, fastened to her collar by a tiny silver chain. The large and modest dress she wore, however, looked like it had been hastily slipped on, and failed to hide a rather buxom figure concealed within it ... which made me wonder what such a youthful and likely very energetic character was doing as the stiff-necked secretary of a local town hall, "Um ... excuse me? Your highness?" "Huh? Oh, oh ... er ..." I stammered uneasily, realising that I wasn't paying as much attention to her words as I ought to have been. So sue me ... what was one supposed to do when thrust into a most unlikely situation? Caught off-guard, I was about to stutter something sufficiently profound when an elbow concealed behind me thrust itself into my back, to remind me once again that I was not supposed to respond. "Charlotte, are you paying attention?" Aei remarked in an affected and rather disrepectful (deliberately so, hopefully) tone as she glared at me, I having instinctively flinched at her signal, "Follow the lady, don't waste her time!" "Aei, as I said, I don't think it's such a good idea for you to follow the Princess ..." the lady remarked, raising a hand to her lips to still her chattering teeth, "And certainly not for you to treat her with such disdain! Your highness ..." "Uh, all right, let's go," I quickly interrupted, so as to avoid a deluge of words, either of flattery or of reprimand, which would certainly not do much good for expediting my exit from this place, "There are people waiting for us!" With a swift bat of her eyelashes the secretary acknowledged my counsel, and stopping the idle banter before it became any more unnecessary, she led us two girls down the corridor, further into the depths of the labyrinth. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say ... but which one (Um, which eye? Which beholder?)? Anyway, you'll find out more in : 27. Looking good, and time to shine! - Aye, yer adventure nae be endin' here, ye ken, lass? - posted by Charlotte | 3:58 pm (0) comments Sunday, February 29, 2004 Come to think of it, I can actually delete the post for February 29 and nobody will ever notice it ever existed? I mean, unless you're utterly hyped up about February 29 I don't think anyone actualy goes out of their way to look for weird things that happen on February 29, like posts disappearing and stuff. For the sake of orderliness, I pushed my February 29 (that's the fourth time) rant one day earlier, so that you don't read it on the day itself. Now on with the story. - War of Words, Part VIII.i - 21. Your mission : Explain the situation to Pwyns Xjrmynq matter-of-factly, in a straight and to-the-point fashion. so that he honestly understands the situation facing him. That is all. Signed, the guards. ("Um ... right. Thanks for reading it out for me. You know I don't understand a single thing you're writing ...") The twin guards, or more appropriately, guards who behaved like twins but fervently insisted that they weren't one, escorted me through the labyrinthine hallways of the town hall as I gazed about inquisitively, trying very hard to find my bearings. Unfortunately, due to the lack of adequate means of guidance in a building meant for public usage (so much for government funding, eh?) I could not pick out any markers or points of reference from which I could judge my location in the building ... not that doing so would be very helpful, seeing as to how I was in the custody of guards who were armed and dangerous. Finally, I thought I saw the light of day from a portal that was greater than a grilled window as I spotted the counter and the sofa of the main entrance to one side ... but the guards promptly forced me in the opposite direction. Or was it the wall I smacked into, looking one way while walking in another? Nevertheless, down another twisting corridor which I was unable to chart for the life of me we finally stopped outside a firm and polished wooden door, a door which looked nothing like the kind usually found sealing away a prisoner in his cell. "Now, do as you have been told," ordered the halberd-wielding guard as he rested against his weapon, standing to one side as he watched me with scrutinising eyes, "You are to explain the situation facing this ... this self-proclaimed noble to him, and, in turn, to convey his defence, if any, to us. And it is all to be done as truthfully and accurately as possible." "Be warned, and on your guard," cautioned the spear-toting guard as he rested his weapon to one side, against the wall, as he unlocked the door to the room, "He may be violent, and have armed himself with something at hand. We are safe ourselves, and will do our best to protect you, but we do not wish to be responsible for any injury on your part." "W ... what?" I exclaimed, horrified at those last words, "You mean, you didn't chain him or tie him up or handcuff him, after all he was screaming and yelling about? And you left him unwatched and unguarded, at that?" "Look, miss, we are operating on a tight budget here," remonstrated the halberdier, rather displeasured at the comment, "We are unable to afford such frills which can be doled out to criminals with such generosity. Neither are we capable of hiring more help on such a short schedule, and are severely understaffed as a result." "Anyway, kid, we were facing a critical shortage of time," explained the spearman, somewhat perturbed at my remarks, "It was absolutely imperative that we lock the villain up as soon as possible, before his ceaseless and cacophonic railing posed too much of a threat to the locals' well being. Thus, you must understand." "Well, so much for bureaucracy, isn't it?" I criticised, greatly unnerved myself, as the unarmed guard returned his key to his pocket and turned the doorknob, easing the door open cautiously, "Anyway, that man may be a loudmouth, but I'm certain he's not so dangerous as to ... eep!" No, that last shriek was not because I had been mercilessly stabbed from either the front or the back, nor because I was terrified that Pwyns Xjrmynq had heard every last distasteful comment I made about him, but rather, because ... burble ... "It looks like things have quietened down," appraised the halberd man rather happily, "Perhaps he has finally ceased his awful ranting." "Yes, it was a good idea to shut him up here," affirmed the spear guy, quite satisfied, "But ... why that sudden cry, miss Charlotte?" "I feel ... ugh ... sick ..." I wheezed as my jaw hang open for the air escaping from the room to collect, air which, mysteriously enough, tasted of not too repulsive a frangrance. As a crimson rosiness filled my eyes, I stared forward in shock to see ... what? Sofas? With cushions? Wardrobes and dressers? Even an open bottle of perfume lying on a wooden table in the centre of the room, its billowing fragrance filling the air with its pleasant scent? And, as I grasped the frame of the door in an attempt to steady myself, I gazed round the corner ... and saw Pwyns Xjrmynq seated on a cushioned stool in front of a ladies' dresser, gently caressing a bruise at the side of his cheek he had received while being ungraciously apprehended by the guards, those same guards ... who had interrogated me in a prison cell? "W ... what the heck?" Pwyns Xjrmynq was obviously expecting the appearance of the guards or at least hostile characters of some sort, since he had most likely heard the scratching of the door as it was unlocked, but perhaps he was startled by the sound of my voice, suddenly ringing out to interrupt him from his solace of solitude. "I ... my good Xkwyr, Charlotte ... it is not what you think! I assure you, I am very manly indeed, and am most worthy and deserving of the hand in marriage of ..." "Good gracious heavens, damn it!" I roared in a voice as loud as I could summon at the two hapless guards, who stumbled backward in surprise despite bearing their heavy and powerful weapons, "I didn't struggle, or give you any trouble, or make lots of noise or yell stupid insults, and you put him in this nice place while you throw me in prison? What were you people thinking? I'm a girl, and a sensitive one at that, you know!" "I ... er ... um ... ah ..." the guards burbled in a variety of guttural noises, not really sure how to reply to that scathing piece of criticism. Seriously, what were they doing? Did it even look, for a moment, that I was going to try to tear them to shreds, or have them flayed and dismembered, or bury them alive then dance on their graves? Why me? Is this all some set up to humiliate me or something? "Well, it was for the purposes of convenience, really," stammered the halberd-holding horror as the weapon shook in his quivering hands, "We had to shut him off and shut him up as quickly as possible, and this was the closest available room, despite its ... inappropriateness." "We figured that you were more sensible and cooperative," gulped the spear-swinging sod as he clutched his weapon to steady himself, "Furthermore, vanquishing him was a matter of ease, while you proved a more formidable foe. It was necessary to exercise more caution." "Yeah, great, thanks!" I shouted, utterly outraged at the hideous treatment I had been handed. Sure, Pwyns Xjrmynq yelled about that too ... but I had a genuine grievance on my part! "You throw poor, helpless, and not to mention thoroughly nice little me in jail, while you put this ... this person (an effort to avoid spouting an expletive) into a beautiful, wonderful room meant for ..." "What, they put you in prison, dear Charlotte? How insensitive!" gasped Pwyns Xjrmynq in a tone which I would have genuinely believed, if only I had not seen his face, "You men of no chivalry ... no, not men .... savages, and barbarians! How dare you mistreat a gentle and cultured young lady in such a manner? If only I was able to stop this travesty ... I would have ..." "And you, shut up!" I growled, almost lunging at the trash-talking twit whose words became lodged in his throat seeing my aggression, "If only you ... you had been more of a man and actually fought ... fought for more than ten seconds, that is! Don't think you're any better than these folks, just because you're some ..." All of a sudden, I felt something long, stiff and wooden leaning against my neck, with a warmness so uncanny it sent a shiver down my back. And, as I glanced upward, I saw the vicious blade of an axe head glaring down at me, reminding me that I was still a prisoner ... and still had the death penalty hanging over me. "Enough of your gabbering, both of you!" snarled the halberdier, his unwavering sense of duty and discipline newly rejuvenated, "We brought you here to accomplish a purpose, now proceed with your task, immediately!" "We understand the nature of your grievance," hissed the spearman, having recovered his poise and discarded his tact for ruthlessness, "But you are in no position to dispute our actions. Begin your interview, with utmost haste!" "My, good Xkwyr, you have changed quite some, after being in the hands of these wretches," commented Pwyns Xjrmynq rather needlessly, "Are you sure that they have not ... seduced you, in any thought or form?" "No ... now let me get on with this," I muttered, without bothering or attempting to reply in the same degree of uptight formality. Hey, it wasn't him with the axe hanging over his head ... or with what feels like the butt of the spear prodding against his back. "They say they're going to kill you for being a citizen of Consonance in the land of Va World, whether you are the heir to the throne or not. And they're going to kill me for following you all the way from the farm to the town." "Villain!" growled the halberdier, even as he kindly enough ceased utilising my shoulder as a weapon stand, "You aided the criminal on the assault on our fair town, and that makes you a terrorist and an anarchist!" "Liar!" cursed the spearman, as he opted to breathe down the back of my neck rather than poke me with his lance, "Your engagement of us in open conflict signalled your hostile intentions, an outright declaration of war!" Groan. I was seriously getting tired of all this 'traitor' and 'treachery' crap. Sighing as I glanced behind rather spiritlessly, I grumbled resentfully. "Look, I would argue with you about that ... but I don't want to waste your, and my time. I'm just here to translate for you, and help you understand things. So stop interrupting me, alright, please?' A muffled muttering emerged from under the helms of both of the guards. "Oh, so you are translating our discussion for the aid of those mercenaries?" Pwyns Xjrmynq remarked again without being invited, "Then, dear Charlotte, could you please offer me the similar service of sorting out what little reason they have from their gibberish, and enlighten me as to the nature of their discussion ..." "You're not helping ... sir," I intoned in a similarly emotionless fashion, in an effort to get him to be silent without irritating him in the process. As I said, I think this must all be a conspiracy or something. It all goes downhill, from promises of treasures and rewards, to getting assaulted and arrested, and then being dumped in a prison cell while mister me gets a lavishly furnished room all to himself. And it's not just any room ... "What they asked me to do is to clarify with you as to the nature of your ... lineage, for the lack of a better word, and to help them understand the nature of your quest so they know how to deal with you. Or maybe, how far to deal with you." "You seem disdainful, good Xkwyr ..." murmured a somewhat alarmed Pwyns Xjrmynq, "Are you rethinking your commitment to assist me on the accomplishment of my most noble and honourable quest to unite the royal families of our twin nations, both locked in a seemingly pointless, and discernibly endless conflict? And to forsake the rewards at hand which have been promised to you, upon my honourable name as a scion of Consonance?" "Look, you can cut the idle chatter by about half and still retain the gist of your meaning, like I'm trying to do now," I sighed, aware that the words on my part which sounded too much like idle chatter to the guards could lead to another threat being sent my way, "Let me set this straight, you're Pwyns Xjrmynq, heir to the throne of Consonance, and you're looking for the Princess of Va World, seeking her hand in marriage so you can end the war and unify the two countries. Is that right?" "Right ..." he stated in a rather monosyllabic way, a fashion rather uncharacteristic of him, "Yes, yes indeed. That is correct. I am positive, affirmative. That is definitely the case. Absolutely, of course ... (et cetera)" Ugh, scratch that. It's not exactly possible to scrap an old habit on the basis of a single reprimand. "Okay," I whirled about to face the two guards, folding my arms in the process, and judging from my speech if I could see under their helms it would be likely that they were not very impressed indeed, "You heard him ... or rather, you heard what I said about him. So, have you changed your minds any?" "He is plotting an attempt on the Princess!" snarled the halberdier, thumping his weapon on the ground, "Such villainy cannot go unpunished!" "As if she has not suffered enough already!" cried the spearman, beating on his chest in frustration, "And you, monster, should add to her misery?" "Um, fellows," I stammered, not really sure what to make of the guards' negative reaction in the face of my explanation, "He said that he wanted to marry the Princess, not to assassinate her! What are the two of you talking about?" The two glanced at each other, nodded knowingly, and hung their heads for a moment before resuming their tirade. "He is plotting an attempt on the Princess!" snarled the halberdier, thumping his weapon on the ground, "Such villainy cannot go unpunished!" "As if she has not suffered enough already!" cried the spearman, beating on his chest in frustration, "And you, monster, should add to her misery?" "..." I groaned and smacked the side of my head out of sheer agony, "... I know he's not the most perfect of people ... but yeah, what I said is correct! He is a noble ... the Prince of Consonance for that matter, and he is on a quest to marry your royal Princess ... um ... your Princess, to unite the kingdoms, and as far-fetched as that sounds I believe you should at least refer him to someone important instead of killing him ... killing us, like animals to the slaughter! All right?" "Can we believe him?" hissed the halberdier as he consulted his partner, "It's difficult to trust his words, considering how ready he was to engage in hostilities with us. Should we take him seriously?" "Can we believe her," retorted the spearman, as he countered his associate, "That is the more important question, since everything we know about him comes through her. Remember the myth of the 'all-tongue'?" "I ... listen to me, all right?" Damn it! This was getting out of hand, yet again! I understand their suspicions ... but surely, if they still had any, they would take more effective steps to address them? "If I have lied to you in any way so far, and you have absolutely conclusive, hardened, solid proof that I did ... (drumroll, please) ... then you can go ahead and execute me. I hope I have shown you how serious I am about this." "My, what bravery, what courage!" exclaimed Pwyns Xjrmynq as he applauded in his awe, "Such nobility, putting your own life on the line with such a brazen declaration! Marvellous! Exceptional! You have my most unwavering praise!" Right. And that's it? "That's not much of an offer to make, considering that you are already on the death row," replied the spearman, with words so piercing I felt I had been impaled right through my heart, "If you seize the opportunity to escape, we would be left with the worse half of the deal." "Nothing is stopping us from unleashing the highest punishment upon you for your crimes," snorted the halberdier, with words so cutting I felt that my determination had been sliced in two, "And now you blatantly want to pile upon them with charges of perjury and bribery?" I was petrified. Of course, I had realised my utter helplessness moments earlier in the jail cell when I understood that I could be dealt with any way they pleased, brushed off with the label of 'traitor', and with no repercussions upon themselves. And what was I to do? Nothing more than to argue futilely, perhaps? So was I doomed? "But then, consider the insignia of the royal family of the enemy upon that sword she carried," pondered the spearman as as he stroked his chin thoughtfully, "And the sword looks as if it had been forged for ceremonial purposes alone. Would true royalty bear such a sword?" No, they'd hand it over to their 'faithful Xkwyr' to lug about. "Judging by the make and the material of the sword, I'd say it was a genuine weapon indeed," offered the halberdier as he scratched the back of his head, "I would say that they do have a case of some kind, and perhaps they ought to be referred to a greater authority." What? Does that mean that they're finally letting us off? "So ... what are you going to do with us now?" I murmured, in an attempt to get them to finally make a decision over us, hopefully one that was in favour of my survival. "We shall contact the Palace to send a representative to receive you," the halberdier instructed as he fingered me sternly, "Stay here, and behave yourselves. Any attempt to resist shall be met with greater ... severity." "We will provide accommodation and some victuals until they arrive," the spearman explained as he regarded the door cautiously, "However, do not mistake our 'hospitality' for leniency, as the punishment of death still holds." As the door shut noiselessly, my emotions which had been strung to the highest fell loose again with relaxation, as relief and calmness seemed to fill my heart. My death which had seemed imminent was now postponed, at least for a time long enough for me to sort out my reasoning and my feelings. I was so relieved, in fact, that I let out a massive sigh as I leaned against the door to soothe my aching back, at the same time squashing the cold beads of sweat which had been rolling down my back into the folds of my dress. "That's it ..." I wheezed as I took a great breath, "We're safe ... for a while ..." "My good Xkwyr, dearest Charlotte ..." Pwyns Xjrmynq muttered pensively as he folded his arms and gazed down at his boots, bowing his head so his fringe hid his complexion, "You did not seem to enthusiastic about the cause of Consonance back there, did you?" "Consonance? No ... not at all ..." I explained as I shrugged my shoulders rather apathetically, "I followed you because I thought your idea had some excitement ... and some sense to it. But I'm not going to give myself up in the name of some country I've never known to exist and, by the likes of it, am never going to visit. For me and for what I believe is right, maybe, but not for intagibles and pleasantries such as that. "Oh ... all right. I see ..." he sighed as he relaxed his arms and let them fall to his side limply, before gazing sadly into the depths of his own eyes ... in the dressing room mirror. Hmm ... Charlotte's tone has taken on a more self-serving and mercenary character. How interesting. If this was an RPG I'd give you Int +1, Wis +1, Con -1, Cha -1. But it's not (plus that's quite a radical stat change ...), so in the spirit of it all we shall have a class change! Yipee! If Charlotte was a Level 2 Swordsgirl, she becomes a Level 2 Duelist If Charlotte was a Level 2 Priestess, she becomes a Level 2 Sybil If Charlotte was something else, you probably cheated or you're talking about something different altogether. Or there must be a spelling mistake somewhere, hmm? Right! - Your adventure ended the moment it began. When you were born you died. Life is a cycle, a snake eating its own tail, an endless loop of infinitum. To say there are endings and beginnings holds no meaning to the enlightened. There is only the existence, the presence. There is nirvana. - posted by Charlotte | 3:52 pm (0) comments Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
|
|
|
|
||
|
 |
|||||
|
||||||
