Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
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Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
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Monday, March 01, 2004 - A Way with Words, Part VIII.i - 23. Aah ... apples! No, no! Not the apples! Help me! "Aei ... stay away from me! Just what are you going to do?" I practically gibbered as I stumbled away from the insidiously grinning child, toppling off the sofa in the process and landing on my rear with a resounding thump. You know how the victim (or heroine, as the case may be) looks when the evil villain or monster or violent drunken male counterpart advances upon her? Think something like that ... and if it was difficult to imagine why my situation would be any similar to that you would understand just how confused, and in the process horrified, I was. "Charlotte, stop acting like a frightened little baby, okay? You ought to get prepared before you go out there!" Aei threatened, or rather, spoke as threateningly as one could sound while maintaining a humorous yet sadistic grin all the while. "I always wanted to try something like this ... on someone ..." she tittered as she stroked the corner of her glistening lips, already licked with anticipation. "Wait ... please ... before you do anything ..." I burbled, still backing away even as she turned away from me to reach for something on the small wooden table in the corner of the arrangement, "Can you at least tell me what you are going to do ... and stop grinning while you're at it ... ?" And, as if on command, she turned to smirk at me, while holding something in her hands. Erk. It was round, and palm-sized ... "Hey, look at this, Charlotte!" she giggled as she turned back to me, to reveal a pair of plump, rosy-red apples in her hands, held rather suggestively at chest level, "I knew that Auntie Eua's apples would come in handy for something like this!" "I ... er ... eep ..." A suddenly solidified glob of saliva lodged itself in the middle of my throat as I struggled to eke out more words to express my terror, that only emerged as rising bubbles from my larynx, "You're not really ... not, really ..." and as a natural reflex I grasped the collar of my dress and dragged it up to my shoulder, to prevent any foreign materials being inserted within. "By the way," she asked, her voice suddenly taking on a rather factual tone, "Are you wearing an inshirt?" "An inshirt?" I repeated, my mind distracted from an unimaginable fate while my arm remained locked against my chest in a defensive posture, "What's that? You mean, like, another layer of clothes inside?" "Oh ... I thought you might be, since it does get cold out there on the cliff late at night ..." she pondered audibly to herself, before casting that sinister glance in my direction, accompanied by that conniving smile, "If that's the case, I wouldn't be able to stuff these down your dress tight enough even if I wanted to." "What?" My eyes quickly widened in shock ... the shock of sudden relief, "You mean ... you weren't going to do that?" "Of course I wasn't! It was a joke I made just now, silly!" she laughed while still tossing the similarly cheery apples from hand to hand, "Apples are food, not clothing! I don't think it would be very comfortable having two of these down your dress, would it? Would it? Unless ..." And then her eyes bulged with a kind of horror only the self-perceived can incite. "Unless what?" I questioned, getting rather irked at this whole charade. First she tries to scare the life out of me, then she tells me it's a joke, then ... "Unless ... you wanted me to do it to you?" I ... what? Gaze and gape met each other as twin gasps confronted themselves. "My goodness ... Charlotte ... I never imagined you were that unscrupulous a kind of girl! My poor heart ... the lengths that some girls will go these days, just for the sake of looking attractive ..." "No I wasn't!" I retorted as quickly as the words formed in my mind, "It was just that ... that I was thinking you would ..." And then, tipping the apples from her hand onto the sofa, she proceeded to roll about giggling insanely like a dimunitive mad scientist whose wildest dreams had just been realised. "Charlotte, begging and pleading, weepy and tear-eyed, concerned and protective, and now confused and bewildered! I've got them all! This has to be ... no, you have to be the best stunt I have ever pulled in my life!" Oh, great. "Look, dear," I hissed as I rested my elbow against the arm of the sofa, and in turn my temple against my fist, "If you treated all your friends this way, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have any." "Oh?" That seemed to have an effect. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Charlotte!" she pouted as she clutched her arms to herself defensively, her former triviality all forgotten. "You're not exactly being very nice, either," I retorted, knowing that while this girl had feelings, they could be stretched pretty far indeed, "I'm in trouble here, and the last thing I want is for someone I'm trusting and depending on to be making fun of me, all right?" "All right!" she repeated, rather dissatisfied, but at least showing that she understood what I was getting at, "All right! Stop acting so grown-up. I'm sorry for teasing you, okay? I was really just saying that maybe you should eat a little more so you don't look so pale, and maybe even get the nice smell of fruit around you. And since this is a dressing room ... why not take a moment to straighten yourself out, and make yourself more presentable? You're not a real princess, but you've got to look like one and not like some poor commoner ... like me, for example. Got it?" "Yes. And it would be nice if you could help me out so I can understand what you mean ..." I murmured, gazing down to try and contain whatever negative emotions had been building up from the unpleasant exchange earlier, before some of them escaped as I shot her a stern glance, "As long as you promise not to make a fool out of me in the process of it." "I won't! I won't! Really!" she insisted rather weakly, as she held her trembling hands in the air to profess her innocence, "Trust me, I'll do my best!" "Hmm ... I think a nice, big, rosy pink or sky blue bow would do right just about here ..." Aei hummed as she prodded the small of my back firmly with a block of soft talc, which she had just finished using earlier to lighten the miscellaneous dirt marks scattered about my white dress. "And it would be even better if you matched it up with one in front, at your belt ... or at your collar ... or on your head! Yeah, that would be pretty!" "I told you, I'm going as myself, and I'm not interested in putting on anything more!" I retorted sharply as I sifted through my locks with the teeth of a brush Aei had conveniently found in a drawer of the dresser and handed to me, "And I'm not taking anything off, to save you the trouble of asking that later." "What a pity ... I've always dreamed of doing something like this for a living ..." she murmured wistfully as she shifted over to my side and reached under my arms to undo my belt, then tighten it, slipping the loose strap into a convenient loop, "Imagine me, the darling young retainer to a beautiful princess ..." "I've more imagined you as the retainer of a huge fortune, the leader of a criminal organisation involved in smuggling all over the world, for a huge profit, a massive quantity of drugs," I muttered as I set aside the brush to take a bite out of an apple, which I had set aside on the table half-eaten and was rapidly oxidising. "A smuggler of ... what, drunks? Or dogs? What are you talking about?" she inquired as she helpfully puffed up my sleeves around my shoulders so as to give an impression of grandeur. Apparently, they didn't have such things as drugs here, something that would normally be construed as positive but could turn out to be a disaster should I fall ill before I managed to get back home. "Well ... never mind ..." I replied, attempting to leave the subject unaddressed while I put down the apple to reach over to do up my bootlaces. I know it's not particularly hygienic, but then there was no one watching so there wasn't really a need to act particularly cultured at this point in time, "Anyway, I think we should be going ..." My words were cut off by, conveniently enough, the sound of someone rapping firmly, but respectfully, against the polished wooden door. "Uh ... um ... my Princess, I'm sorry if I may be interrupting, but it's important that you ... well ... the man ..." that same restrained lady's voice rang out from the other side of the locked door, "He seems rather ... uncooperative ..." "I ..." I was about to reply when Aei, ever watchful, quickly clamped her hand over my half-parted lips, shot me a glare which told me to leave things to her, and called out to the waiting lady on my behalf. "Um ... we're almost done. We'll be out in just about a bit ..." "Aei," came that same voice in that same respectful tone from behind the door, "Aei, I don't think that you ought to be following the Princess at this point in time, maybe you should be leaving?" "Oh, no, no, I'm no bother at all!" she laughed in her light-hearted manner, though this time it was slightly forced, "Charlotte wants me here, doesn't she?" And then she glanced at me expectantly. What? "Say something!" she hissed as she (a little too late) snatched her hand from before my mouth, "I called your name, now respond to it!" "Yes, yes ... there really isn't any reason why she ought to leave ..." I stammered, in a tone much more awkward and deliberate than Aei's when she attempted it, "She's been helpful so far ... We'll be out quickly, don't worry about it!" "Er ... all right. Do make haste, your highness, I shall be waiting patiently behind the door." called the lady as both of us got to our feet, I finishing the rest of my apple while Aei slipped off to return the utilities we borrowed to their rightful compartments. Mmm ... just as juicy, plus it smelt delectable. Is this what Aei meant by the natural fragrance of fruits? "Stop sniffing yourself like a puppy and let's go!" hissed Aei as she tugged at my sleeve, having darted back from the dresser at her speedy child's pace, "Your people are waiting to see you, now go present yourself!" "Right, right, yes, ma'am!" I yelped as I followed her, dragging me backwards for quite some distance before she realised that I wasn't even facing her in the first place. To ensure that it was I who was the one presenting myself, she nochalantly reached over for my limp hand and pressed it over the doorknob, then unlatched the lock for me to make the final move. Heh ... so, who was the one in charge here? "Your majesty, Princess Uaeouue?" beckoned a rather wary lady who was standing just a little behind the door, enough to be safe from it as it swung open. She was somewhat tall, her height accentuated by her sculpted hair, and on her right eye she wore a monocle, fastened to her collar by a tiny silver chain. The large and modest dress she wore, however, looked like it had been hastily slipped on, and failed to hide a rather buxom figure concealed within it ... which made me wonder what such a youthful and likely very energetic character was doing as the stiff-necked secretary of a local town hall, "Um ... excuse me? Your highness?" "Huh? Oh, oh ... er ..." I stammered uneasily, realising that I wasn't paying as much attention to her words as I ought to have been. So sue me ... what was one supposed to do when thrust into a most unlikely situation? Caught off-guard, I was about to stutter something sufficiently profound when an elbow concealed behind me thrust itself into my back, to remind me once again that I was not supposed to respond. "Charlotte, are you paying attention?" Aei remarked in an affected and rather disrepectful (deliberately so, hopefully) tone as she glared at me, I having instinctively flinched at her signal, "Follow the lady, don't waste her time!" "Aei, as I said, I don't think it's such a good idea for you to follow the Princess ..." the lady remarked, raising a hand to her lips to still her chattering teeth, "And certainly not for you to treat her with such disdain! Your highness ..." "Uh, all right, let's go," I quickly interrupted, so as to avoid a deluge of words, either of flattery or of reprimand, which would certainly not do much good for expediting my exit from this place, "There are people waiting for us!" With a swift bat of her eyelashes the secretary acknowledged my counsel, and stopping the idle banter before it became any more unnecessary, she led us two girls down the corridor, further into the depths of the labyrinth. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say ... but which one (Um, which eye? Which beholder?)? Anyway, you'll find out more in : 27. Looking good, and time to shine! - Aye, yer adventure nae be endin' here, ye ken, lass? - posted by Charlotte | 3:58 pm
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Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
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