Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
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Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
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Saturday, May 01, 2004 Hey! It's a public holiday today, and I'm sure you all know why it's a public holiday! It's one to celebrate, because it's all for a good cause, and that cause happens to be because it's the day after Charlotte ... *whack* And why do we celebrate Christmas? It's because someone special was born that we celebrate it. In fact, it commemorates the 239th day after Charlotte ... *senseless hammering* Right. Anyway, on with the show! Today's topic, Current Affairs! Part II : Current Affairs "In other words, the status I'm in right now, what I'm currently in the midst of, under what conditions I happened to have undergone this most remarkable milestone in the history of this world. Or maybe it's because most of you haven't seen me for ages (not years, unfortunately) and you're probably curious at what I'm doing, or perhaps you miss your old source of comic relief, taking the mickey out of me any opportunity you get. So here's your chance! Presenting, yours truly!" Current Age : 19. And one day. Aw, come on! You didn't need me to tell you that! Marital Status : Divorced. From reality. Or just take it that I'm single and I'm looking in all the wrong places. Employment Status : Unemployed. Or I could say that I'm currently undergoing an intensive self-improvement training course on authorship involving full-time ground level practice, but that would be gilding my lily. And besides, it's a patent lie. Academic Qualifications : A level graduate, somehow. But it feels good knowing that two years of your effort was well spent in ensuring that others hold you in a higher regard than you would be viewed before embarking upon this. Language Capability : English. British English. Roight, and that be the Queen's English to ye! And Chinese, too, but I'm horribly out of touch, being barely capable of writing more than a few sentences despite being able to read and converse in it with a fair degree of aptitude. Still embarking on learning Japanese by means of simply reading it and listening to it more, through conveniently entertaining mediums such as watching anime and reading games, though I shall only go for formal lessons in university. Trying hard to increase my knowledge of British vocabulary, and in the process find an accent that most suits me so I can dump the dead, expressionless Singaporean murmurings for something more sprightly. Other more human-interest questions? Hmm ... perhaps it should be protoplasm-interest instead. Current studies : None, since the A levels was last year and I'm currently waiting to go to university. Or not. I really haven't the faintest idea whether I shall accept my current offers or simply apply again (thanks to my atrocious Prelims results). Currently holding an unconditional offer from University of York (formerly BBB, which is really low) and a conditional offer of AAA (met!) from University of Durham, for history, of course. Current reading : If you're referring to something I read regularly, the closest thing to it outside of the Straits Times and the New Paper (when I have the opportunity) it would be Kids Company magazine. Hey, did you know I'm registered as a member of Kids Central Kids' Club? I used to subscribe to the Economist but found it distasteful after a while due to the rather severely opinionated writing ... to acquire information, I'd rather read expository writing than argumentative ones because I don't want my opinions skewed by what I've read. The book I'm reading right now is Waiting for Godot, a tragicomedy in two acts by Samuel Beckett. It. is. absurd, and I don't intend to understand it, much less review it. And if I'm terribly bored (or feeling extremely narcissistic) I'll read whatever I wrote, since it's written in the style that I like to read the most ... *chuffed*. Current watching : Since I'm not a television addict, I don't watch any show in particular on a consistent basis. Sometimes, if I'm really bored, I'll switch on the TV for a while but otherwise I prefer to stare at it in the blank. The last show I followed consistently was the Great Science Challenge on Channel 5 at 7.30pm Wednesdays, mainly because I'd like to see how much of that science I still remember after two long years of distance from it and I'm pleasantly surprised to say that I know more than most of the people on the show ("Hmm, what's the sixth planet from the sun, eh?"). Anyway, it's the only competitive event between schools that has been screened on a major channel at prime time so far, excepting Who Wants to be a Millionaire schools' challenge. The last show that I really would have thrown down everything to ensure that I didn't miss it was Ranma ½ on AXN at 7.00pm (and 11.00am and 4.00pm) on weekdays, ending the third week of January. Current listening : I don't listen to the radio, and I don't follow any artist, so this is possibly a blank. However, I do have a very sizable collection of Slayers music CDs (which means that it is legal for me to own the MP3s!) and several more from Ranma ½. However, I rarely listen to them, because I can't work with any concordant sounds going on about me, like people talking and singing (which explains why I function best alone, or at most with one other person), though I do listen if I'm tired or just trying to laze around. My playlist now is several tracks of MIDIs of music from FFT, my favourite being most of the story battle music, it gives me a boost of energy if I want a smile, but unfortunately fills my head full of endless rambling about FFT and that means I won't be able to work for several hours thereafter ... a hangover, perhaps? Current playing : I have a computer ("No, I don't! I had to trot down to the nearest cybercafe and pay an extorbitant price to write this!") and I have a PlayStation (One) on loan from my cousin. The games I'm currently playing are Final Fantasy Tactics for the PlayStation, naturally, since I blab about it and keep playing it over and over although I've already won it four times and clocked several hundred hours, and Tactics Ogre : The Knight of Lodis for the GameBoy Advance, suitably emulated on the computer (Don't sue me, Nintendo! Please! I confessed, didn't I?) for some variety on the Tactics theme. Uncompleted games which I have an intention of eventually resuming are Final Fantasy VI for the PlayStation in Japanese where I stopped half-way through, mainly to preserve Kefka's epic rant on board the floating continent (Da-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ai Kirai!) and Chrono Trigger for the SNES (Nintendo again! *whimper*) emulated, where I'm stuck because I'm a lousy gamer. Games I have but are barely touched (and I intend to play some time) are Neverwinter Nights : Hordes of the Underdark and Warcraft III : The Frozen Throne for the PC, and Final Fantasy X on loan but I don't have a PlayStation 2. As you can see, I don't intend to buy any games for a very long time ... I'll just download ... oops. Current writing : My ongoing first-person novel C______ M______, blanked out in the same style which French novellists all enjoy using. It's titled, so I don't need suggestions (or comments) about it, and no, it does not stand for Charlotte's Madness. Charlotte does not put in an appearance, not even a cameo one, unfortunately. What I'm (supposed to be) posting on this site regularly, my first-person kind of choose-your-own-adventure story, which, if you read this site, you'll know what the titles are. An untitled third-person chain novel with good friends (formerly) from the Creative Writing Club, which I'm in the midst of revising, because it's my turn, as it has been for the past four months ... gibber *trembles*. Also in the midst of writing, but which I have difficulty continuing, is my third-person short story about Roleplaying in RJC, which I've written quite a few pages but have problems continuing because I realise how impossibly difficult it is to give character to an entire class, unless, of course, you're basing it off one you have intimate knowledge of. So that's four. Current affairs : Mmm? Don't worry, darling, there's always room in my heart for you ... *bats eyelashes*. Yes, bat's eyelashes. Also, add eye of newt and toe of frog. And some nose of Turk and Tartar's lips, and a liver of a blaspheming Jew. Fillet of a fenny snake, in the cauldron boil and bake. Cool it with a baboon's blood, and then my charm is well and good. - ends all double entendre, and this whole entry (whoops!), for that matter - posted by Charlotte | 4:47 pm (0) comments Friday, April 30, 2004 Hmm ... hello there. *looks at date* Hello, darling! *um, looks at calendar date* Hello, darling calendar! *um, looks at date on the calendar* Either a really big calendar or a really tiny date. *whacks Charlotte for carrying stupidity beyond three lines* Ouch. Anyway ... Did you know today is a special day? No, you don't? Well, then let me tell you all about it. On the 30th April 1945, news was received that all major ports and most outlying cities in Germany had been occupied by Allied forces. Adolf Hitler, German F?hrer and (only) Chancellor of the Third Reich, together with his wife Eva Braun, whom he had just married the day before (what a sod ...), shot themselves in a hidden bunker in Germany, one that was later demolished by heavy explosives under Hitler's own instructions. The body of Adolf Hitler was never found, though rumours of his escape and even the 'discovery' of a bullet-ridden skull continued to fuel speculation over his final fate. Let me unveil it. Know that you are receiving this in a primary, first hand source. That's likely to be reliable, kids! Anyway, let me close these misguided murmurings with not so much as a conclusion but a simple statement. On 30th April 1985, exactly forty years later, Charlotte Tan was born. (Hehehe ... Heh heh heh ... *evil twitterings*!) Haha. Sorry to disappoint you, but that was all perfectly true. Well, except for the part that I claimed that I could close speculation over Hitler's fate. You'd argue, too, that if Hitler's evil spirit had somehow been reincarnated into the future he would have possessed the body of some poor sod born approximately nine months after April 30th, since that would have been the amount of time it took for his spirit to fester and grow after transmigrating. Or, then again, you could say that his spiritual essence was merely seizing a chance, symbolically possessing the soul of a hapless victim born forty years after his death. If that was not the case, then this might well be Charlotte Tan today. "Hello, everybody! Such a lovely and delightful day! Seeing the beautiful sun in the sky, the cheerful chirping of the birds, the luscious luster of the trees, reminds me yet again of the joy of being alive, and the loveliness of living things. I dream of frolicking daintily like the delightful butterflies which flit from flower to flower, and wish that one day, I would meet my beloved prince who would sweep me off my feet, showering me with tender words of praise and affection, and bring me back to his majestic castle on the back of his white horse, where he would, um ..." Good lord. I feel ill now. Anyway, the scenario (about Hitler) described above probably wasn't the case, but that might only well be Charlotte today, what you see now is the alternative ... *shrugs*. And Hitler did love life, anyway. Well, at least the life of his fellow Aryans. You know I usually choose to lampoon "significant" days, as deemed so by the ignorant public, but for this day I'll make an exception. Largely because there is actually a proven reason for celebrating this day ... Hitler's Death Day, or something like that, and you can celebrate no other (wot? you want to celebrate Hitler's birthday?). But since I haven't the foggiest about Hitler's most secret and intimate details, except that he wasn't born with a bullet hole in his skull, as a special bonus I hereby present you with a series of Charlotte Tan's most secret and intimate details. Or maybe not. A series of selections of officially deemed 'secret and intimate' (we all know that is essentially rot, friends) details about Charlotte Tan. Even if you don't know and don't care about me ("Why ... *sniffle*") it makes good bathroom reading. It should send you rushing for the lavatory rather quickly. - Part I : Fact, Fact, Fact! "Hello! Welcome to the first of my series of ... (*bonk*) ... nevermind. Anyway, here is that set of information which isn't going to change, which is, essentially, fact. Whether you (or I) like it or not. Some of them might be known, or might be immediately obvious, others will require a lot of pummelling (or a lot of bribery) to squeeze out of me naturally, others you probably wouldn't want to even read. But they're all true, and they're not going to change. Almost all." Name : Tan Yiliang, Charlotte ... that's me! n_n No intention of changing that. Birthdate : 30/04/85. Assuming you read date-month-year like any sensible (in other words, non-American) human would. Gender : F. F for feminine (and, appropriately, M for masculine). Obviously, it was a male chauvinist pig who truncated 'masculine' as 'male' but 'feminine' as, well, something stuck in front of 'male'. Why can't English make that distinction as much as do other languages, like French, Femme (and Homme), or Chinese, N? (and N?n) or Japanese, Onna (and Otoko). Why? Why the injustice? Because the English are chauvinistic pigdogs? Who could have thought so much could be written under a question usually answered in a single letter? (Note : not titled 'Sex' to avoid the obvious corny joke) Race : Human, I guess. Um, right, Chinese. And proud of it (you can get stuffed, mister Li Shengwu)! Nationality : Darn. No joke here. Anyway, Singaporean. And not very proud of it. Religion : Agnostic. Not in the sense that I can't make up my mind whether or not God, or the Goddess, or any miscellaneous ethereal heavenly deity exists, but rather that I keep making spurious references to them as if they were my best buddies. Which is not particularly religious, nor utterly disproving of the existence of such a deity. I didn't say so, did I?Judging from my tenuous relationship with such a heavenly figure, however, it is highly unlikely that I will ever become sincerely religious and that is why I present this evaluation. Zodiac : Taurus. Moo! Chinese Zodiac : Ox. MOO! You could have probably inferred that from the birthdate but since I'm currently crazy about astrology (thanks to FFT!) I shall just blab on about it. Eh? Who else out there can claim to have identical zodiac signs in both Western and Chinese astrology (um, you're not meant to answer that, I know there are some ...). The only other sign you can get this with is Capricorn, and the Goat. Tough luck, Aries people, I don't think it's called the 'Year of the Sheep' (or is it?). Even so, Taurus is the second Western zodiac sign (honourable Europeans, those we should aspire to be like, believe Aries is first, the start of Spring, while stupid, insensible Americans consider Capricorn to be first, the 1st of January) and the Ox is the second Chinese zodiac sign, so that's two in a row! No other combination can beat that! Yeah, so I'm just a cow-faced heifer that talks a lot of bull but still ... isn't it significant? (Note : "Sign" as the title sounds really stupid. If someone did ask me something like 'What's your sign?', I'd probably answer with "Once Broken, Considered Sold" (ooh ... suggestive), just a little ahead of "In Case of Fire, Break Glass" (just plain daft).) Home Address : Sorry, I might move ... it doesn't belong under this section, now does it? ^_^ Telephone Number : Ditto above. And I already get enough calls from real estate agents wanting to know if my 'house' is for sale, when it's actually a secondary phone line under my home's ... oops. Never mind. Ask me personally and I'll tell you, no problems about that. Height : One-seventy-something centimetres. I haven't measured in a long, long time, and I can't be bothered to. Plus, hey, I'm not a retard (in more ways than one), maybe I might grow (or shrink ... *sniffle*) a little, so I shouldn't fill this in. Weight : Oi! Oh, all right, fine, I'll tell, even though I'm not obliged to (heck, I'm writing this thing! I get to choose!). Somewhere between 45-55 kg, constantly fluctuating over the period of a week, because I stuff myself on weekends (mmm? Seoul Garden's got an offer?) and starve myself on weekdays (mmm ... Seoul Garden has an offer ... for weekends), so my weight is always changing. But it's somewhere around there. I never hesitate to laugh whenever a television celebrity celebrates losing, what, two kilograms? Hahaha ... Three Vital Statistics : 264 for PSLE, A-star in English, Mathematics, Science and Social Studies, A in Chinese. L1R5 of 6 for O levels, A1 in English, Mathematics D, Additional Mathematics, Chemistry, Biology, Geography and History, A2 in Physics and Chinese O. AAA for A levels, A in English Literature, Economics, History and Mathematics, A1 in General Paper, Distinction for History S, Merit for English S, C5 for Chinese AO. ... What, you meant those statistics? Well, you can jolly well go hang yourself, you pervert. None of your damn business! (Author's Note : Hey, you're the one writing this! Why are you deliberately alluding to all kinds of crap and then abusing yourself so pointlessly?) (Author's Note to Author's Note : Why are you writing a note to yourself when you don't really need to tell it to anyone else?) (Author's Note about Author's Note to Author's Note : Shut up.) posted by Charlotte | 4:57 pm (0) comments Wednesday, April 28, 2004 I opened up Microsoft Word to write down more new stuff. I had a good feeling! This job required intense powers of concentration. I knew this was the right job! Things didn't turn out quite as I planned ... I wandered through thoughts and musings in search of the undiscovered country. In the end, I didn't find anything. This job was a big success! Anyhow, this job was a failure. This is the way! Call me back? Whatever. posted by Charlotte | 4:57 pm (0) comments Tuesday, April 27, 2004 Take a one-week hiatus from writing the story that I post here, I've got something special that needs doing. Real doing, not just the odd coffee-inspired scribble. And the website is down. It's probably the radiation from Chernobyl that did it, disrupting networks around the world ever year on the anniversary of the great nuclear disaster. Or it's that silly virus again. I can see the webpage on the 'View Blog' option, but you can't, obviously! I've got it all to myself! Haha, wahey! Nyah, nyah ... oops, the point is that I want you to read it, isn't it? Um, I'm delirious. As in, really bonkers, blinkered, hatstand. Off to bed with you, lass! And with no supper! posted by Charlotte | 4:57 pm (0) comments Monday, April 26, 2004 Cor blimey! Or at least for quite a few minutes there last night, because I hadn't a clue what I was writing. The Americans would wonder 'what have you been smoking', and I humbly suggest the dried and scattered ashes of Mary Ann "George y'wot?" Evans. I must empty my head. But not so much that all the other unwanted stuff seeps in. This is going to be my full-time job and I intend that I make a good shot of it all. Leave me gobsmacked. Surprise me this week, all you dears. And no, do not surprise me with a smack in the gob. posted by Charlotte | 4:08 pm (0) comments Sunday, April 25, 2004 Book review time! Yay! The lucky customer? Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas, by that wonderful French fellow Jules Verne. And that's 'under the seas', mind you, because if you tried to go 20,000 leagues under the sea you'd probably end up on the other side of the planet ... and continue off into space like misguided exhaust. The furthest depth actually mentioned in the story, but not actually reached, is three leagues, about double Mount Everest, and if you didn't realise that is already incredibly deep, a league being, according to my dictionary, approximately 5km/3mil. League being a French term (hence the metric figures). The introduction mentions about how despite the fact that Jules Verne, his works and his characters are all household names, nobody really knows much about them and thus constantly misjudge and misinterpret them, leading to many misconceptions arising about him, such that he wrote science fiction, or that he wrote for children, or whatever. I certainly agree with that statement, because I knew about characters such as Passerpartout (not Phileas T. Fogg, unfortunately) and Captain Nemo long before I actually read the books ... probably around the time that I even knew who Jules Verne was in the first place. And thus, most understandably, I am extremely miffed at the choice of the name 'Nemo' for a rather frail and helpless clownfish by that miserable organisation Disney. I've also held that misconception about Jules Verne being a science-fiction author (that should go to H.G. Wells, actually), an illusion promptly shattered by my reading of Around the World in Eighty Days which dwells not on the fantastical and the imaginary but on rationality and realism. But 20,000 Leagues (etc.) does have fictional elements about it, for starters the submarine Nautilus itself. Submersible craft had existed, though obviously none that were so complex had been constructed, for the models of that time could barely accommodate several individuals and served only observation purposes, not as weapons. Captain Nemo is another, the enigmatic man who has chosen to renounce humanity or, more accurately, life above the waves, and to dwell underwater in his submarine with his chosen assistants, and his captives, forever. Though, despite the admiration for such willpower and resourcefulness, Verne is indisputably discouraging of such hermitic behaviour, certainly doing him no favours with the Utopian thinkers and artists that emerged later on that century. It has taken a century for science to prove that it is actually possible to live underwater, isolated from society, and sustained only by technology, and it will probably take longer still to prove that people with such adventurous desires actually exist. Submarine crews have high pay for a reason, you know. Unfortunately, I found the plot regarding Nemo's antisocial behaviour to be rather thin, as while it was constantly referred to throughout the book, it emerged only as ponderous musings by Pierre Arronax, the professor whom, exploring the new scourge of the seas, winds up as its captive along with his manservant Conseil and a hot-blooded French Canadian Ned Land. There are also several hints about Socialist tendencies in this man (no surprise, since Verne was a supporter of the Paris Commune against the Second Empire), where he funds rebel causes and his bedroom is decorated with portraits of revolutionary leaders. However, it all isn't developed enough, as Arronax only gets the occasional glimpse or hint about the motivations behind this man before the captain completely loses his patience and probably his sanity as well. In the end, Nemo remains what he started off as, a total enigma, and nobody knows how he had come, nor whither he had gone. A good trait for a supporting character, perhaps, but certainly not for one who constantly leaps between antagonist and protagonist, the anti-hero, in the absence of the narrator the main character, in any text seeking a proper conclusion. In this light, the book reads better as a series of events and incidents ("An incident?" "No, an accident."), very similar to some Japanese anime where there's a new plot every episode but the characters, and their attitudes and their motivations, remain the same. The events do not point to any particular conclusion, for, while the reader understands that the collision is inevitable between Arronax's desire to remain on board to learn more about the ocean depths in a manner no oceanologist has ever done before, and his colleagues' desire to escape the increasingly deranged captain, there are no clues that point to the manner in which the entire debacle ends and, like in Journey to the Centre of the Earth, the ending comes too suddenly and too abruptly for comfort. One would argue that that is the way most real-life adventures end, without any prior warning ... but still, being the author, he could have at least written it in a more readable form. About the other characters then? Pierre Arronax sounds too real to be believed, in fact, he is actually Jules Verne himself as a photograph of the author was actually published as the illustration of the illustrious professor. What I disliked in particular about Arronax was that, as the narrator, he seemed far too empowered, as compared to, say, Axel from Journey to the Centre of the Earth. He seems to know everything, his fellow captives defer to him, and he is the only one to whom Nemo will speak on amicable terms. Respect for academia, perhaps, but self-empowerment is the easy way out of all plotlines. His only difficulty, it seems, would be juggling the various motives of his fellows, Nemo, and himself, and judging which one to prioritise, and he only fully agrees to escape (and the escape is subsequently carried out) when he learns of Nemo's decision to throw all of the captain's research into the sea in a bottle, basically dooming the professor's hopes of conveying his research to civilisation. Nope, sorry, I believe in flawed protagonists that have a limited strength, not all-compassing colossi. However, I certainly hold the depiction of his manservant Conseil and the whaler Ned Land in much higher regard. Most appealing are their unique traits, as all supporting characters should have, Conseil's of classifying every single organism he sees according to Linnaeus' geneology, and constantly calling his master 'monsieur' in the third person, Ned Land's of shooting his mouth off at the slightest provocation, with the cravings and appetite of a monster, and of trying to harpoon every large creature in sight. Now that's energy ... *shudder*. They make a powerful tag-team, as do the two sidekicks in each of Verne's three most popular novels, with their contrasts and their synergy, and in this aspect I favour 20,000 Leagues. Conseil, despite being his master's servant, remains aloof throughout the plot to his master's goals and aims (but also remains steadfastly obedient), unlike Passerpartout and Axel who gradually began to adopt their leaders' belief and enthusiasm, eventually becoming an even more powerful exponent of the 'cause' than the original leaders themselves. Ned Land, on the other hand, is my favourite out of the 'antagonistic' member of the trio of heroes, as he is certainly by far more energetic and outspoken than Hans (who rarely speaks a word, and does no more than he is told), and while he doesn't add as much intrigue to the plot as Detective Fix does, Verne shot himself in the foot by throwing in a final mention of how an impassive Phileas Fogg comes to some reconciliation with the driven, now helplessly guilty Fix (and no, not by punching him). Ned never actually comes to terms with Arronax's cause either, his sole objective from the beginning has been to escape, and to harpoon a few helpless marine animals while he was at that. Despite my persistent focus on the negative ("Oh, so-and-so was good." What did that tell you?) I would assure any reader that 20,000 Leagues is the best out of that most excellent trio of novels by Jules Verne. While it is also the thickest, at about the length of the other two combined, it has more than its fair share of events, twists, and rambling of scientific and historical fact that is so common in Jules Verne. Hey, you might find it boring or monotous, but I like those! It heightens my respect for him ever the more. It's a bit difficult to get started, the first few chapters being terribly disconnected from the rest, but once you get into the swing of it you can breeze through the story (due to the ineffectiveness of the social subplot) like a good piece of fiction. You like imaginative travel fiction with scientific and historical descriptions and unexpected but undisturbing twists in the plot? Then this is another book for you. Read it. Heh. Why would I review a book that I wouldn't encourage others to read? To slam it as hard as I could? That defeats the purpose, since we're always tempted by discouragement. Anyway, if I really hated a book, I probably wouldn't finish reading it or even get past the first few pages unless I was forced to ... thinks Mary Ann "Ann You Thought T.S. Was Bad!" Evans. But I got my A in Literature despite it, so I don't think I shall deign to dig up that unwanted piece of history. P.S. Hey! I just checked it up in the dictionary. To 'deign' to do something doesn't actually mean that you refuse to do it, it's just that you consider it so demeaning that it is only with great difficulty that you descend to doing it. In other words, it's a rather stiff-lipped form of sarcasm. Good stuff, eh? posted by Charlotte | 4:26 pm (0) comments Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
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