Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
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Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
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Sunday, February 29, 2004 Come to think of it, I can actually delete the post for February 29 and nobody will ever notice it ever existed? I mean, unless you're utterly hyped up about February 29 I don't think anyone actualy goes out of their way to look for weird things that happen on February 29, like posts disappearing and stuff. For the sake of orderliness, I pushed my February 29 (that's the fourth time) rant one day earlier, so that you don't read it on the day itself. Now on with the story. - War of Words, Part VIII.i - 21. Your mission : Explain the situation to Pwyns Xjrmynq matter-of-factly, in a straight and to-the-point fashion. so that he honestly understands the situation facing him. That is all. Signed, the guards. ("Um ... right. Thanks for reading it out for me. You know I don't understand a single thing you're writing ...") The twin guards, or more appropriately, guards who behaved like twins but fervently insisted that they weren't one, escorted me through the labyrinthine hallways of the town hall as I gazed about inquisitively, trying very hard to find my bearings. Unfortunately, due to the lack of adequate means of guidance in a building meant for public usage (so much for government funding, eh?) I could not pick out any markers or points of reference from which I could judge my location in the building ... not that doing so would be very helpful, seeing as to how I was in the custody of guards who were armed and dangerous. Finally, I thought I saw the light of day from a portal that was greater than a grilled window as I spotted the counter and the sofa of the main entrance to one side ... but the guards promptly forced me in the opposite direction. Or was it the wall I smacked into, looking one way while walking in another? Nevertheless, down another twisting corridor which I was unable to chart for the life of me we finally stopped outside a firm and polished wooden door, a door which looked nothing like the kind usually found sealing away a prisoner in his cell. "Now, do as you have been told," ordered the halberd-wielding guard as he rested against his weapon, standing to one side as he watched me with scrutinising eyes, "You are to explain the situation facing this ... this self-proclaimed noble to him, and, in turn, to convey his defence, if any, to us. And it is all to be done as truthfully and accurately as possible." "Be warned, and on your guard," cautioned the spear-toting guard as he rested his weapon to one side, against the wall, as he unlocked the door to the room, "He may be violent, and have armed himself with something at hand. We are safe ourselves, and will do our best to protect you, but we do not wish to be responsible for any injury on your part." "W ... what?" I exclaimed, horrified at those last words, "You mean, you didn't chain him or tie him up or handcuff him, after all he was screaming and yelling about? And you left him unwatched and unguarded, at that?" "Look, miss, we are operating on a tight budget here," remonstrated the halberdier, rather displeasured at the comment, "We are unable to afford such frills which can be doled out to criminals with such generosity. Neither are we capable of hiring more help on such a short schedule, and are severely understaffed as a result." "Anyway, kid, we were facing a critical shortage of time," explained the spearman, somewhat perturbed at my remarks, "It was absolutely imperative that we lock the villain up as soon as possible, before his ceaseless and cacophonic railing posed too much of a threat to the locals' well being. Thus, you must understand." "Well, so much for bureaucracy, isn't it?" I criticised, greatly unnerved myself, as the unarmed guard returned his key to his pocket and turned the doorknob, easing the door open cautiously, "Anyway, that man may be a loudmouth, but I'm certain he's not so dangerous as to ... eep!" No, that last shriek was not because I had been mercilessly stabbed from either the front or the back, nor because I was terrified that Pwyns Xjrmynq had heard every last distasteful comment I made about him, but rather, because ... burble ... "It looks like things have quietened down," appraised the halberd man rather happily, "Perhaps he has finally ceased his awful ranting." "Yes, it was a good idea to shut him up here," affirmed the spear guy, quite satisfied, "But ... why that sudden cry, miss Charlotte?" "I feel ... ugh ... sick ..." I wheezed as my jaw hang open for the air escaping from the room to collect, air which, mysteriously enough, tasted of not too repulsive a frangrance. As a crimson rosiness filled my eyes, I stared forward in shock to see ... what? Sofas? With cushions? Wardrobes and dressers? Even an open bottle of perfume lying on a wooden table in the centre of the room, its billowing fragrance filling the air with its pleasant scent? And, as I grasped the frame of the door in an attempt to steady myself, I gazed round the corner ... and saw Pwyns Xjrmynq seated on a cushioned stool in front of a ladies' dresser, gently caressing a bruise at the side of his cheek he had received while being ungraciously apprehended by the guards, those same guards ... who had interrogated me in a prison cell? "W ... what the heck?" Pwyns Xjrmynq was obviously expecting the appearance of the guards or at least hostile characters of some sort, since he had most likely heard the scratching of the door as it was unlocked, but perhaps he was startled by the sound of my voice, suddenly ringing out to interrupt him from his solace of solitude. "I ... my good Xkwyr, Charlotte ... it is not what you think! I assure you, I am very manly indeed, and am most worthy and deserving of the hand in marriage of ..." "Good gracious heavens, damn it!" I roared in a voice as loud as I could summon at the two hapless guards, who stumbled backward in surprise despite bearing their heavy and powerful weapons, "I didn't struggle, or give you any trouble, or make lots of noise or yell stupid insults, and you put him in this nice place while you throw me in prison? What were you people thinking? I'm a girl, and a sensitive one at that, you know!" "I ... er ... um ... ah ..." the guards burbled in a variety of guttural noises, not really sure how to reply to that scathing piece of criticism. Seriously, what were they doing? Did it even look, for a moment, that I was going to try to tear them to shreds, or have them flayed and dismembered, or bury them alive then dance on their graves? Why me? Is this all some set up to humiliate me or something? "Well, it was for the purposes of convenience, really," stammered the halberd-holding horror as the weapon shook in his quivering hands, "We had to shut him off and shut him up as quickly as possible, and this was the closest available room, despite its ... inappropriateness." "We figured that you were more sensible and cooperative," gulped the spear-swinging sod as he clutched his weapon to steady himself, "Furthermore, vanquishing him was a matter of ease, while you proved a more formidable foe. It was necessary to exercise more caution." "Yeah, great, thanks!" I shouted, utterly outraged at the hideous treatment I had been handed. Sure, Pwyns Xjrmynq yelled about that too ... but I had a genuine grievance on my part! "You throw poor, helpless, and not to mention thoroughly nice little me in jail, while you put this ... this person (an effort to avoid spouting an expletive) into a beautiful, wonderful room meant for ..." "What, they put you in prison, dear Charlotte? How insensitive!" gasped Pwyns Xjrmynq in a tone which I would have genuinely believed, if only I had not seen his face, "You men of no chivalry ... no, not men .... savages, and barbarians! How dare you mistreat a gentle and cultured young lady in such a manner? If only I was able to stop this travesty ... I would have ..." "And you, shut up!" I growled, almost lunging at the trash-talking twit whose words became lodged in his throat seeing my aggression, "If only you ... you had been more of a man and actually fought ... fought for more than ten seconds, that is! Don't think you're any better than these folks, just because you're some ..." All of a sudden, I felt something long, stiff and wooden leaning against my neck, with a warmness so uncanny it sent a shiver down my back. And, as I glanced upward, I saw the vicious blade of an axe head glaring down at me, reminding me that I was still a prisoner ... and still had the death penalty hanging over me. "Enough of your gabbering, both of you!" snarled the halberdier, his unwavering sense of duty and discipline newly rejuvenated, "We brought you here to accomplish a purpose, now proceed with your task, immediately!" "We understand the nature of your grievance," hissed the spearman, having recovered his poise and discarded his tact for ruthlessness, "But you are in no position to dispute our actions. Begin your interview, with utmost haste!" "My, good Xkwyr, you have changed quite some, after being in the hands of these wretches," commented Pwyns Xjrmynq rather needlessly, "Are you sure that they have not ... seduced you, in any thought or form?" "No ... now let me get on with this," I muttered, without bothering or attempting to reply in the same degree of uptight formality. Hey, it wasn't him with the axe hanging over his head ... or with what feels like the butt of the spear prodding against his back. "They say they're going to kill you for being a citizen of Consonance in the land of Va World, whether you are the heir to the throne or not. And they're going to kill me for following you all the way from the farm to the town." "Villain!" growled the halberdier, even as he kindly enough ceased utilising my shoulder as a weapon stand, "You aided the criminal on the assault on our fair town, and that makes you a terrorist and an anarchist!" "Liar!" cursed the spearman, as he opted to breathe down the back of my neck rather than poke me with his lance, "Your engagement of us in open conflict signalled your hostile intentions, an outright declaration of war!" Groan. I was seriously getting tired of all this 'traitor' and 'treachery' crap. Sighing as I glanced behind rather spiritlessly, I grumbled resentfully. "Look, I would argue with you about that ... but I don't want to waste your, and my time. I'm just here to translate for you, and help you understand things. So stop interrupting me, alright, please?' A muffled muttering emerged from under the helms of both of the guards. "Oh, so you are translating our discussion for the aid of those mercenaries?" Pwyns Xjrmynq remarked again without being invited, "Then, dear Charlotte, could you please offer me the similar service of sorting out what little reason they have from their gibberish, and enlighten me as to the nature of their discussion ..." "You're not helping ... sir," I intoned in a similarly emotionless fashion, in an effort to get him to be silent without irritating him in the process. As I said, I think this must all be a conspiracy or something. It all goes downhill, from promises of treasures and rewards, to getting assaulted and arrested, and then being dumped in a prison cell while mister me gets a lavishly furnished room all to himself. And it's not just any room ... "What they asked me to do is to clarify with you as to the nature of your ... lineage, for the lack of a better word, and to help them understand the nature of your quest so they know how to deal with you. Or maybe, how far to deal with you." "You seem disdainful, good Xkwyr ..." murmured a somewhat alarmed Pwyns Xjrmynq, "Are you rethinking your commitment to assist me on the accomplishment of my most noble and honourable quest to unite the royal families of our twin nations, both locked in a seemingly pointless, and discernibly endless conflict? And to forsake the rewards at hand which have been promised to you, upon my honourable name as a scion of Consonance?" "Look, you can cut the idle chatter by about half and still retain the gist of your meaning, like I'm trying to do now," I sighed, aware that the words on my part which sounded too much like idle chatter to the guards could lead to another threat being sent my way, "Let me set this straight, you're Pwyns Xjrmynq, heir to the throne of Consonance, and you're looking for the Princess of Va World, seeking her hand in marriage so you can end the war and unify the two countries. Is that right?" "Right ..." he stated in a rather monosyllabic way, a fashion rather uncharacteristic of him, "Yes, yes indeed. That is correct. I am positive, affirmative. That is definitely the case. Absolutely, of course ... (et cetera)" Ugh, scratch that. It's not exactly possible to scrap an old habit on the basis of a single reprimand. "Okay," I whirled about to face the two guards, folding my arms in the process, and judging from my speech if I could see under their helms it would be likely that they were not very impressed indeed, "You heard him ... or rather, you heard what I said about him. So, have you changed your minds any?" "He is plotting an attempt on the Princess!" snarled the halberdier, thumping his weapon on the ground, "Such villainy cannot go unpunished!" "As if she has not suffered enough already!" cried the spearman, beating on his chest in frustration, "And you, monster, should add to her misery?" "Um, fellows," I stammered, not really sure what to make of the guards' negative reaction in the face of my explanation, "He said that he wanted to marry the Princess, not to assassinate her! What are the two of you talking about?" The two glanced at each other, nodded knowingly, and hung their heads for a moment before resuming their tirade. "He is plotting an attempt on the Princess!" snarled the halberdier, thumping his weapon on the ground, "Such villainy cannot go unpunished!" "As if she has not suffered enough already!" cried the spearman, beating on his chest in frustration, "And you, monster, should add to her misery?" "..." I groaned and smacked the side of my head out of sheer agony, "... I know he's not the most perfect of people ... but yeah, what I said is correct! He is a noble ... the Prince of Consonance for that matter, and he is on a quest to marry your royal Princess ... um ... your Princess, to unite the kingdoms, and as far-fetched as that sounds I believe you should at least refer him to someone important instead of killing him ... killing us, like animals to the slaughter! All right?" "Can we believe him?" hissed the halberdier as he consulted his partner, "It's difficult to trust his words, considering how ready he was to engage in hostilities with us. Should we take him seriously?" "Can we believe her," retorted the spearman, as he countered his associate, "That is the more important question, since everything we know about him comes through her. Remember the myth of the 'all-tongue'?" "I ... listen to me, all right?" Damn it! This was getting out of hand, yet again! I understand their suspicions ... but surely, if they still had any, they would take more effective steps to address them? "If I have lied to you in any way so far, and you have absolutely conclusive, hardened, solid proof that I did ... (drumroll, please) ... then you can go ahead and execute me. I hope I have shown you how serious I am about this." "My, what bravery, what courage!" exclaimed Pwyns Xjrmynq as he applauded in his awe, "Such nobility, putting your own life on the line with such a brazen declaration! Marvellous! Exceptional! You have my most unwavering praise!" Right. And that's it? "That's not much of an offer to make, considering that you are already on the death row," replied the spearman, with words so piercing I felt I had been impaled right through my heart, "If you seize the opportunity to escape, we would be left with the worse half of the deal." "Nothing is stopping us from unleashing the highest punishment upon you for your crimes," snorted the halberdier, with words so cutting I felt that my determination had been sliced in two, "And now you blatantly want to pile upon them with charges of perjury and bribery?" I was petrified. Of course, I had realised my utter helplessness moments earlier in the jail cell when I understood that I could be dealt with any way they pleased, brushed off with the label of 'traitor', and with no repercussions upon themselves. And what was I to do? Nothing more than to argue futilely, perhaps? So was I doomed? "But then, consider the insignia of the royal family of the enemy upon that sword she carried," pondered the spearman as as he stroked his chin thoughtfully, "And the sword looks as if it had been forged for ceremonial purposes alone. Would true royalty bear such a sword?" No, they'd hand it over to their 'faithful Xkwyr' to lug about. "Judging by the make and the material of the sword, I'd say it was a genuine weapon indeed," offered the halberdier as he scratched the back of his head, "I would say that they do have a case of some kind, and perhaps they ought to be referred to a greater authority." What? Does that mean that they're finally letting us off? "So ... what are you going to do with us now?" I murmured, in an attempt to get them to finally make a decision over us, hopefully one that was in favour of my survival. "We shall contact the Palace to send a representative to receive you," the halberdier instructed as he fingered me sternly, "Stay here, and behave yourselves. Any attempt to resist shall be met with greater ... severity." "We will provide accommodation and some victuals until they arrive," the spearman explained as he regarded the door cautiously, "However, do not mistake our 'hospitality' for leniency, as the punishment of death still holds." As the door shut noiselessly, my emotions which had been strung to the highest fell loose again with relaxation, as relief and calmness seemed to fill my heart. My death which had seemed imminent was now postponed, at least for a time long enough for me to sort out my reasoning and my feelings. I was so relieved, in fact, that I let out a massive sigh as I leaned against the door to soothe my aching back, at the same time squashing the cold beads of sweat which had been rolling down my back into the folds of my dress. "That's it ..." I wheezed as I took a great breath, "We're safe ... for a while ..." "My good Xkwyr, dearest Charlotte ..." Pwyns Xjrmynq muttered pensively as he folded his arms and gazed down at his boots, bowing his head so his fringe hid his complexion, "You did not seem to enthusiastic about the cause of Consonance back there, did you?" "Consonance? No ... not at all ..." I explained as I shrugged my shoulders rather apathetically, "I followed you because I thought your idea had some excitement ... and some sense to it. But I'm not going to give myself up in the name of some country I've never known to exist and, by the likes of it, am never going to visit. For me and for what I believe is right, maybe, but not for intagibles and pleasantries such as that. "Oh ... all right. I see ..." he sighed as he relaxed his arms and let them fall to his side limply, before gazing sadly into the depths of his own eyes ... in the dressing room mirror. Hmm ... Charlotte's tone has taken on a more self-serving and mercenary character. How interesting. If this was an RPG I'd give you Int +1, Wis +1, Con -1, Cha -1. But it's not (plus that's quite a radical stat change ...), so in the spirit of it all we shall have a class change! Yipee! If Charlotte was a Level 2 Swordsgirl, she becomes a Level 2 Duelist If Charlotte was a Level 2 Priestess, she becomes a Level 2 Sybil If Charlotte was something else, you probably cheated or you're talking about something different altogether. Or there must be a spelling mistake somewhere, hmm? Right! - Your adventure ended the moment it began. When you were born you died. Life is a cycle, a snake eating its own tail, an endless loop of infinitum. To say there are endings and beginnings holds no meaning to the enlightened. There is only the existence, the presence. There is nirvana. - posted by Charlotte | 3:52 pm
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Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
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