Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
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Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004 - War of Words, Part IX - Groan. Even nearly after getting the senses knocked out of me in battle and being physically and mentally shattered, iterrogated by a pair of burly guards in a less-than-comfortable jail cell, it was clear that the torture was not all over for me. There was still more to come ... trapped in a stuffy room with no windows, not alone (unfortunately), but in the companionship of probably the greatest loudmouth ever to exist this side of ... of whatever this place was, Pwyns Xjrmynq, heir to the throne of Consonance, at the head of a noble quest, a masterful and deadly assassin, and generally around a right and royal pain in the rear. And did I mention that I was sentenced to death by default? But then, as I leaned against the side of a wooden dresser, placing my hand to my head to reflect about my trials and ordeals, it occurred to me that the situation now was much less dire than I imagined. The air of the room was thick and dull, but at least it was pleasant, as evinced from the little bottle of perfume on the table spilling its scent in adequately generous proportions. The guards were good to their 'promise' as well, the slightly nicer guard returning within minutes of his assertation with a jug of fresh spring water and several small rolls of bread, not warm and somewhat hard but who were we to complain? Ever the door was left unlocked, a somewhat careless gesture considering the nature of the 'crimes' the people within had been indicted for but it was one made out of necessity, since there didn't seem to be bathrooms of any kind in this private boudoir. Best of all, the normally talkative and loose-lipped Pwyns Xjrmynq was now uncharacteristically quiet, probably silently pondering what lay ahead in the same sombre fashion that I was. Eventually, though, the silence of solemness became insufferably unbearable, and both of us (though to him long before to me) were eventually induced to converse. Noticing my dissipated expression, a fine blend of frustration and dolour, Pwyns Xjrmynq shuffled about uneasily before finally putting forth the first statement in quite a while. "You have my deepest gratitude, good Charlotte, for freeing me from the clutches of those unpleasant characters," he murmured quietly as he twiddled his fingers shiftily, "Pray, would it be asking too much to humbly request you recount the manner in which you went about doing so?" "Not really ... I hope," I sighed as I released myself from my position of inertia, having nearly melded myself to the crimson of the wall by turning a deep pink in the discomforting temperatures, "To me it's just a matter of being able to understand, and speak, both your languages at the same time, what one of the guards called an 'all-tongue'. It comes naturally to me, although how in the world I am able to do it I haven't the slightest idea. And you must also forgive me for acting upset and not offering to translate for you, because trust me, repeating others word for word isn't the most delightful thing to do." "Indeed, the honour is all mine. I must be blessed by the divine spirits of Consonance to have encountered such a talented and innovating young individual such as yourself," he declared, although this time he kept his voice low enough such that it didn't sound like yet another deluge of boisterous flattery, "With your assistance I am sure the achievement of my noble quest should not pose too much difficulty at all." "Right, I thank you, milord," I replied, lifting my eyebrows in a lackadasiacal fashion to which the rather bemused member of royalty acknowledged with a small grin, "But, speaking of your quest, I'd just like to pose a few questions which have been bugging me, if you don't mind.' "N ... not a problem in the slightest!" he agreed, although a little startled at my overly direct and straightforward riposte of speech, "Speak what you please. It is the least I can do for you right now to repay you for your invaluable assistance." Well, there's money, treasures, that endowment of nobility you promised, a nice plot of your kingdom which I could rule over as marquess ... there shouldn't be any difficulty drawing up a list of such ways. Oh, and a way to get home, of course. "Well, for starters I'd like to know why you happen to be on a quest to ... to marry the Princess of this country," I asked, the first of several pressing questions which had been plaguing me ever since the hostile reception I received at the hands of two of the locals (who just happened to be carrying heavy weapons), "Nobody really seems to be comfortable with someone from your country even being here, let alone your asserting chauvinistic dominance over a person, who might well be compatible with you, but who still possesses the highest non-leadership status in the entire country." "Oh, do refrain from utilising such contorted verbalisations! I have the utmost difficulty in adequately comprehending them!" he commented oxymoronically, knowing for once what it is like to get a taste of his own medicine, "Yes, I am knowledgeable of the negative demeanour with which my countrymen have been addressed in this foreign land, although I profess that I never have had an actual encounter with it until this fateful day. I gather from your question that you wish to know why I have chosen to brave these seemingly insurmountable obstacles?" "Yes ..." I muttered emotionlessly. Since dying an unpleasant death wasn't exactly most people's cup of tea, one would wonder why a person with the mental age of a toddler would ever abandon a charmed life to take on such challenges. "Alas, but it is all too clear to me that this seems to be the only way," he sighed dramatically while taking on (and maintaining) an affected pose, "All manner of hostilities, wars and confrontations have failed, earning an advantage for neither side while taking their toll on the long-suffering people of our lands. Subterfuge and diplomatic chicanery have only resulted in failure, and heightened the tension both in the courts and among the populace of either nation. It seems that the only solution is to come forward with a proposal, one that is honest, open and sincere, and one to which I willingly dedicate all of my nobility, indeed, all of my life. The unification of our lands is a cause for which many common people have died in vain for, and if it takes my royalty, as the heir to the throne of Consonance, with it, then it will only serve to illustrate the magnitude of our futile sacrifices." "And will undoubtedly be greeted with cries of approval from the folks over here," I added rather mordantly, to be greeted with a moan of helplessness from the noble concerned, "But ... you can't just wander over to this country where everyone wants your head, can you? Don't they have any notification of your coming? Doesn't the government of Consonance, or your parents, or whoever that is responsible give you authorisation for such a daring initiative?" "Huh. The leadership of either nation has atrophied into nothing more than a corpse, festering not with flies and maggots but with hatred for each other, which periodically bursts out in the gusts of fetid noxiousness we smell as war," Pwyns Xjrmynq elaborated poetically, and laid a hand over his forehead to emphasise that melodrama of it all, "What permission? What authorisation? My people would sooner have me exchange blades with a member of 'the enemy' before even exchanging a word with them. Whence comes this senseless hostility, this mindless hatred? I have taken much of my life for granted, but one thing that I am acutely aware of is how my upbringing merely as a scion and not a leader of the nation separates me from the decision-making and the workings of politics in my nation, and thus allows me to perceive that which their shallow mindsets have already blinded them to. The decision-making for me, now, is something which I do by myself." "But surely your nation won't let you leave just like that! No parent would allow their son to march heedlessly into the hands of the enemy! They'd send someone after you!" I countered rather insistently, seeing the obvious difficulty which confronted his valiant quest. "I'd sooner be captured and killed by the lowliest grunt of the other nation that have myself arrested by the mightiest general of my own," he asserted aggresively as he dropped his pose to focus his energy and emphasis into his words, "Even if it is but to take me back to a life of privilege and provision. For what meaning is there to life when there are others who must suffer needlessly?" So, this was the dauntless, determined prince fairy tales spoke of, selflessly abandoning a life of comfort in the attainment of a noble ideal. Unfortunately, fairy tales aren't meant to be true, and such passion for intangibles is a drive utterly devoid of common sense. But then that was monarchy. Who was there who would stop a young man of such status from indulging in the passion of his life? "Well, it's good that you show such an incredible determination as to the achievement of your goal," I commented observantly, to an approving smack of the lips from the person being so appraised, "But have you considered for a moment what would happen if ... I'm sorry, but this really ought to be addressed ... what would you do if you somehow failed and lived to see it? Now that they've caught you, instead of killing you they might just send you back to your homeland, and I can predict that you certainly won't be received too well by your own people. Or worse, what would you do if you managed to meet this Princess, and explained all the details of your quest and your motivations just as you're doing now, and expressed your wish for her hand in marriage ... and she refused you? Have you considered that?" Well, he could always go on a berserker rage slashing everyone in sight, dousing people and things with petrol and setting them alight, but there's not much you can do with such a weedy little body and a dinky kitchen knife. "I ... well ..." He was stumped for a moment on that last question, before he turned to me, with eyes that seemed to be lit by some kind of fire blazing behind them, and glared at me right in my face. "Are you doubting me again, my most honourable and trusted Xkwyr?" "I ... I'm not doubting you! I think that you've brought up many good points, and I certainly approve of your quest, not as if you needed any legitimisation to pursue whatever course of action you feel is best," I stammered as I backed away from his accusing stare, not wanting to agitate him just when I finally got him to talk sense, "But, it's important to consider the other outcomes, the 'what-if's. What if you don't get what you want, and something unexpected happens? It's always important to prepare a second plan, so that you're never caught off guard." "I see, that's right, you speak the truth. You are indeed one full of wisdom and perception, dear Xkwyr, and I am apologetic for ever having doubted your counsel," acknowledged Pwyns Xjrmynq as that blaze in his eyes dimmed a little, before fading out utterly as he closed his eyes in remorse, "But you must know that for me, there will not be any second plan. There can not be one. I cannot return home without having accomplished my mission, the quest I've embarked upon, the quest on which I've placed all of my soul and spirit. For me, failure is not an option." W ... what? If things didn't go his way, he would be killing himself? Suicide is the most immature and irresponsible way out of any difficulty. Certainly, I understood his feelings ... nobody wants to go home to a pair of deeply upset parents. But if something happened to him, odd as it sounded, where would that leave me? Lost, without a hopelessly inept companion with whom my inherent genius can be contrasted against, and sitting on the bench waiting to be executed. No. If I was following him, he had to succeed. "N ... no! You can't be thinking of killing yourself! You could always try again!" I remonstrated hysterically, much to his alarm as he was jolted out of his sombre mood, "You're supposed to be the Prince! You can go off and do whatever you want, as long as you're not dead! Don't end it all, all on the basis of a single failure!" "Heh. You pre-empt me, dear Charlotte. Make no more mention of the hideous concept the common man calls failure," he intoned seriously, the determination in him charged up like a compressed spring ready to lash out, "But make no mistake about it. Death is the only way out for me. If they do not kill me, upon my princely honour I swear that I will end my own life, a failed life, with my own royal dag ... say, where did I put it?" And there followed a ridiculous, farcical scene totally distant from any serious matters which had been discussed in the preceding minutes as Pwyns Xjrmynq proceeded to ransack himself, each pocket of his robe, reaching inside it, and nearly wrenching it off in the process (no, I don't want to imagine that), before he realised that if his dagger had not clattered to the ground outside during our battle in the streets before the fountain, he would most certainly have been relieved of it by a pair of guards more fearful of him maiming himself and soiling the place with his own blood than actually hurting them with it. Goodness me. "Okay ... well, seriously ..." I interjected tremulously as a flustered Pwyns Xjrmynq, realising how uncouth his acting in front of a cultured and mannerly young lady had been, nervously righted himself and straightened out his robe before returning his attention to me, "I guess you have all the rights to suicide, if you are really that beholden to it. It is, after all, the only free action open to anyone. But I hope you've listened to me, because all I'm doing is telling you that it isn't the only way out of such a difficulty." "I understand and appreciate your concern," he assented, his face bearing an increasingly grim expression, "But the life of royalty is one fraught with sacrifices, the solemn ritual of the noble often being judged as unnecessary and excessive by the common man. I know my path, and am prepared to face it by the good honour of my noble name. However, I am grateful. I will be in your debt forever for your support and assistance in my mission, no matter what end it may lead to." Well, at least he wasn't an ingrate. However, it would be much more comforting if he actually took a moment to ponder what I was getting out of all this questing, and to what ends I was working towards and how he might assist me on those endeavours. I wasn't in this business simply because I was concerned about justice and righteousness in a foreign land! Or maybe, I was ... a little. "All right. Of course, I can sense your burning desire to accomplish your mission so as to bring peace to both your lands," I remarked as nodding observantly, I noticed that while Pwyns Xjrmynq had a largely limited set of thoughts and expressions when it came about to everyday life, he did have quite some mental flexibility as far as his quest and his personal philosophy were concerned. Call that focussed and efficient, or merely an instance of blind pursuit. "However, I was thinking that maybe, even if you married this Princess, the two of you wouldn't be enough to stop the perpetual conflict. What are a pair of star-crossed lovers, even royal ones, supposed to do to get the people and the governments of either nations to simply throw aside years of hatred and resentment, abandoning their old ways for a reason no more legitimate than the reason they began fighting in the first place? You say that your name carries weight, and I certainly don't deny it (although this observation comes out of the deference the locals I observed paid to their Princess, and not on the part of Pwyns Xjrmynq of Consonance alone), but how will it stand against your parents, who are the ceremonial heads of the nation, or the government, the executive leaders of it?" "I ... er ... well ..." he stammered, very obviously baffled by that last question, although whether by the difficulty of finding an answer or by the length and wording of it had yet to be seen, "So basically, noble Xkwyr, what you are asking is whether ... whether my marriage to the Princess of this land would really solve this terrible conflict which has been plaguing our nations." Heh. For once, it was I who was unduly elaborate, and it was mister loudmouth who sought clarification and summarisation. Perhaps I should do this more of the time, in an attempt to compress his speech as often as possible. "Yes, that's what I mean," I clarified matter-of-factly, "What I'm saying is that marriage is fine if that's something the two people concerned want, but the fact is that it doesn't honestly change anything in the world, just that there now exists yet another married couple. It wouldn't even be very easy for you to make anything out of it even if you got married to her, seeing as to how you can't understand the local language. At the worst case, even if you say that you are uniting the royal families of both lands, it isn't likely to be significant if ... not that I predict it, but ... if your parents choose to abandon you for going over to the 'enemy' and disobeying them in the first place? Then you'd be stuck, and the war wouldn't stop. Have you thought about that?" "I ... um, er ... in all honesty," he stuttered, again unsure of how to reply, before drawing a breath and heaving out a number of sentences which seemed almost to pain him as they left his lips, "In all honesty, no, dear Charlotte. No, I have not given any thought to this issue at all. I sincerely believe, although your elucidating explanations have illustrated otherwise, that my marriage to the honourable and gracious Princess Uaeouue of Va World would be more than enough to demonstrate to the people of both our lands my desire for peace and unity. Yes, you might claim that a ... a 'mere' marriage achieves nothing significant, but is that not true of most symbolic gestures in the world, actions whose effects are disproportionately greater than their causes, like the waves of a ripple rolling outwards? You mentioned some time ago how we had to deal with the 'what-if's, the possible unexpected results of our actions, and the truth is that we are again dealing with many of these uncertanties here. Undoubtedly, the possibilities are always open that things may go as negatively as you say, but I am fuelled by my optimistic belief that my noble actions, on the basis of my initiative and my determination, would be sufficient to bring about the result that I long for. For what use is there in theorising without trying? My quest, therefore, is one of those attempts, the results of which I cannot predict but which I steadfastly view as the best way in which I can contribute to ending this senseless battle once and for all." At this, Pwyns Xjrmynq put his hand to his forehead for a moment almost in an attempt to soothe and steady himself, before he found whatever internal pain he was grappling with more than he could bear and, turning away, he took a seat on the sofa, still caressing his forehead, trying to absolve himself of the agony that plagued him. Sensing his misery, brought on no doubt by the difficulties my challenging of his hypothesis had dug up, I meekly sidled up to one of the smaller couches placed perpendicular to the large one where he sat and casually leaned against it, resting on my arms which lay folded on the head of its wooden frame. "I ,,, are you all right?" I whispered quietly, not seeking to agitate him more than was necessary, "I'm sorry for making you upset over your quest ..." "No, no, it is I who should apologise," he murmured, but to himself, without turning to face me, "I should not be losing my composure like this ... I acknowledge that the possibilities you have explained do make a large degree of sense, and I am ... ashamed of myself for not being able to confront them mentally. Therefore, I venture to ask you to challenge me again, so that I may steel myself and be able to face up to whatever that does happen, knowing that I am prepared for it thanks to the wise counsel of my companion and advisor Charlotte." "Right, if you wish ..." I affirmed, before continuing with what had indeed turned out to be the last question I was considering putting to him, over an issue I felt rather ... uncomfortable about. I was thinking it far too sensitive to ask someone as flippant and irrational as the blabbering and gibbering Pwyns Xjrmynq, but seeing as to how he was in a more sensible mood ... well, at your command, good sir! "My last question is, well, rather difficult to phrase and put forward to you, but ..." "Do not shy from any enquiry, faithful Xkwyr," he asserted, though not so much with strength as with despair, "You wrong me if you are not as open with me as you possibly could, and I wrong you if I do not reply you with that same honesty and truthfulness which are but the slightest demanded of someone of my status." "Okay, if you insist ..." I cautioned, before drawing in as large a breath as I could, puffing out my chest, and making that final damning assertion, "You wish to marry the Princess ... well, the Princess of this land, and the question is, do you love her?! Do you even know anything about her?! And in return, should she accept your proposal, will she love you as well? Marriage is not an issue of the pairing of one's status or standing in society, but is one that can only be sustained by the compatibility between two people who are honestly, truly, and very very deeply in love with each other. Otherwise, your marriage will only serve a functional purpose, a mere symbol, that illustrates something to the world while jeopardising both of your personal lives, something which I guarantee can only end in tragedy and tears for you and her. I understand the degree of the sacrifices which you are willing to make for the achievement of your goal ... but must you possibly ... necessarily ... ruin the life of another girl who, far from being a royal Princess, is also another person with thoughts and feelings of her own, like myself?" "I ... I never thought about that ..." he murmured, before falling into a silence from which he looked unlikely to snap out of for a very long time. "It isn't all touch and go, this quest of yours. Marriage is a question of compatibilities and relationships, not functionality and purpose ... they don't get married so something happens, they get married because they just want to!" I exhorted, almost breaking into a spree of crusading as my seeming anathema for injustice extended to my companions as to the rest of the world, "I know it's disheartening of me to pre-empt you like these with all these thoughts and nuances about things that might never happen, but ... isn't it similarly foolish not to give them any thought beforehand? I'm not trying to dissuade you or anything, but I hope you are thinking about it ..." "I am ... I definitely am!" he insisted spiritlessly, before returning to that doleful melancholy of his, "But I am already too far into my quest to back out ... and I shall not! My only regret is that I was never open with anyone about my intentions, so that they could correct my errors, until I met you, one who is not just a follower but also an adviser and a defender. Stay with me, Charlotte, my faithful companion, and together we will see the end of our noble quest through!" So. It felt uplifting ... positively wonderful to be depended upon, and no longer by one who took your presence for granted but one who was now willing to take your counsel, to correct themselves, and to return that same degree of faith one begins to examine oneself for, searching oneself to see whether one did ever make such a generous gesture. Next to this feeling, the promises of rewards and treasure were nothing. Well, they were more tangible ... but they didn't make one feel as good as a confession like this did. I was about to extend a word of comfort when a sharp rap struck across the door of the room, one which barely sounded like the thump of a metal gauntlet like the ones the guards were wearing. Was someone else here? "Pwyns Xjrmynq, heir to the throne of Consonance and quester for the hand of the fair Princess in marriage," snarled someone outside in a malicious, barbed tone which sounded nothing like the harsh gruffness of the guards, and little more similar to my companion's slick, refined tone, "Pwyns Xjrmynq, and his lady companion, I presume? Opem the door!" "W ... what do you want?" I yelped as I leapt from my position, reclining against the head of one of the chairs. Was this the 'higher authority' they were speaking of? Noticing my friend's distressed state, and the obvious fact that he was not in the comprehending of the local language, I took it upon me to reply to this less than courteous character. "Why, none other than the person appointed to apprehend the two of you, of course!" the voice replied sneeringly, disdainful even of my inoffensive reply, "Enemy of criminals, fearsome bounty hunter, famed adventurer, intrepid explorer ..." "Who is it?" "The bold, the grand, the great ... Io Aoi." Huh? What? Now who is this unnecessarily nasty and utterly distasteful character? And how much regard are you interested in showing this unfriendly person? 31. Well, pardon me, but you could be more pleasant with your introductions. 32. And do I care? No. Get stuffed. - You rad ventu reend she re ... huh?- posted by Charlotte | 3:51 pm
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Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
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