Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard.
Where anything goes.
-//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7
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Where chaos stops and more chaos ensues. Where Filia plays the electric keyboard. Where anything goes. -//o_O\\7 *Home of the Awful, Mediocre and Pathetic* -//u_u\\7 |
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Thursday, August 05, 2004 Sigh. And now it seems the blank post, or, better yet, the null post, has become the main feature of this website, once teeming with activity, brimming with railing, ranting, wailing, whining and whatever else you may wish. And now it is bleak and barren. But not an utter wasteland, however, for you could still click on the archives for a glimpse of a more salacious and specious past. It is too unfortunate, then, that while this place is nowhere near to closing (HA! I shall die first! ... that doesn't take much effort ...) the posts grow fewer and further between, and the quality of writing and the degree of interest incited fails to increase commensurately. This is doubtless a fall. The question to be answered is whether this is the nadir of the valley or merely a descent towards it. A mere nineteen years of age. It took me several months to realise it, but Rolly is definitely right. Experiences are what create and excite the mind, and if you experience nothing, you can imagine nothing. More sedentary than ever due to my unusual psychosomatic complications, I can barely find the effort to make a trip down to the library to pick up something new. Most of my time is spent reading through what I already have, and while, considering the catalogue I have at my disposal, that is certainly no mean feat, the fact remains that revising and reviewing my own texts incites me little. The rest of my time is spent fulfilling daily bodily necessities such as eating, sleeping, and failing miserably at refusing to breathe. And, of course, playing computer games, the lit screen being the only source of fresh entertainment at my disposal. And while it seems that playing new games might be a form of new experiences, in truth, given the very similar nature of anything which is depicted on a computer screen, I find on introspection that all I am doing in starting and completing any electronic endeavour is merely trodding, treading, plodding onward on some endless path. No enjoyment or rapture fills me in such a completion, only the knowledge of an end and the need to find a new beginning. Perhaps I have lost the childish instinct in me to take not merely pride but joy from small and worthless accomplishments. The only happiness arises when I myself am obsessed, drunken, lost in happiness without seeking to find the root of it, and failing to remember its transience. I do not think I can ever seek joy in myself again, nor realise the ability of others to see it in themselves. I leave this to those who would find it in their interests to clarify or rectify this, because elsewise I would not venture from my vortex of discontent only to drag others into it. Shockingly good-hearted, don't you think? posted by Charlotte | 4:52 pm
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Disclaimer : The Slayers and Filia Ul Copt and all images thereof are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. I don't own any of them, although if I had a choice I would want Filia ... ~//n_n\\7 |
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